What did you do this week...

15 posts / 0 new

Last post

#1 Mar 18 - 10PM

Anonymous (not verified)

What did you do this week...

...to help in your healing process?

I'm giving myself permission to heal and not worry about time frames in doing so.

I went for a walk after work (I moved~!)for the first time in weeks. The weather was perfect.

I went another day without the temptation to contact him, and feel better each time.

I read this website and others lots, and have purchased some awesome reading materials which have been pretty enlightening to say the least. I'm definitely feeling calmer, and it's good to know I'm not the crazy lady he tried to make me out to be.

I'm thinking about doing some volunteer work at the animal shelter...I love doggies.

(next big goal: stop stress eating!)
:)

#2 Mar 20 - 4PM

Barbara (not verified)

took me 3 LONG years

... 3 years to get over a 21 month relationship with a psychopath - and I still have severe PTSD I got over my 26 year marriage to an abusive narc in about a week. He'd totally drained any feeling from me by then. Barbara http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com

#3 Mar 20 - 3PM

Jodie

Healing

It has been a long two months but I finally feel like I'm making headway. For me, reading, reading and readig has been key. I'm also in a Domestic Violence Support Group (this is not just for physically battered women, but emotionally abused women as well which is great for victim's of N's). I also pray, and spend time on here...as well as see a therapist. There's a lot that needs to be done when recovering from an N. But once we've recovered I can only imagine the whole new person waiting to break free, with so much more resilience, wisdom, character and esteem!! We are going to come out stronger than ever before. But in the beginning it's baby steps. Remember, the only way "out" is through.

"Cry now because you lost him or cry later because you have him."

#4 Mar 21 - 12AM (Reply to #13)

Lisa E. Scott

Thanks Jodie

I really like what you wrote. You are so right "the only way out it through."

#5 Mar 20 - 10AM

Barbara (not verified)

You don't

I would NEVER NEVER EVER meet someone online dating. THERE IS NO SAFE ONLINE DATING. My predator? He looked me up from Classmates.com. There is no way to screen. Over 100,000 sexual predators were found on Match. The online dating sites have a 17% success rate. that means 83% are predators. FOR GOSH SAKE - volunteer somewhere, go out and meet someone face to face but STAY OFF THE ONLINE DATING SITES. Check these out: http://fightbigamy.typepad.com http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com Just SEE how many of these victims were ONLINE DATERS (more than 3/4 of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Hell NO NO NO online dating. Never ever

#6 Mar 20 - 9AM

Barbara (not verified)

Start reading this site REGULARLY!!

http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com

#7 Mar 19 - 12AM

ms_jeeves

great topic!

I am working hard on going out in public where I know I will find friendly faces. Making friends is really helping me cope and it keeps me focused on how big and wonderful the world is. I would much rather be thinking about someone's sick puppy, or hearing about someone's child's travels than I would thinking about my own disappointment. When I get anxious, I take a small walk and feel the wind comfort me. I couldn't eat a real meal for several weeks. Now I work on eating something, no matter how small, twice a day.

#8 Mar 19 - 8PM (Reply to #7)

grossot

ms_jeeves

I hope you are taking care of your health. I'm facing issues with eating also. I lost 35 lbs. It was hard to start eating again because he always wanted me to be very skinny. He praised me for not eating. I used to have to give a calorie intake count every night at dinner. Are you staying at a healthy weight? Did you know when your body weight is more than 15% under the recommended weight for your age, activity level and height, that your body uses brain matter for energy? You will feel confused. Your organs are more susceptible to infection. Please Please Please do not starve yourself. I know what is like to have the enjoyment of eating taken away. You are doing the right thing though. You can't overwhelm yourself with too much at once. Take care. I'm praying for you, nolongercontrolled

http://hubpages.com/hub/Married-to-a-Narcissist?preview

nolongercontrolled

#9 Mar 19 - 10PM (Reply to #8)

ms_jeeves

Thank you! I really am

Thank you! I really am taking care of myself & have some weight to lose actually (for me... not just for the memory of him wishing I hadn't gained weight after a car accident). I can't imagine having to give someone a calorie count. UGH. Whenever I'm stressed though, I stop eating... so now I'm working my way back into it. Thanks again ... it's no good to know that people care.

#10 Mar 20 - 7AM (Reply to #9)

Barbara (not verified)

What I did

Came here and posted anything I thought would help & support you ladies. kept my abuse information blog up to date stayed on my medical diet made appt to discuss surgery for next month and get it done went to my child's parent/ teacher conference and continuing fighting for her to get more help hugged my kids a lot Barbara http://abusesanctuary.blogspot.com

#11 Mar 19 - 11AM (Reply to #2)

GhostBuster

First Love

I just keep reading books about Ns and validating my experience with my ex N as real (from the standpoint of being abused...not that his words or our relationship was real). I think the knowlege and insight you gain from reading about Ns is very integral to the healing process. As is therapy. Yesterday, I had a bright spot. On Facebook, I searched for old high school classmates and saw that my first love (boyfriend of 3 years in high school) had a page. He accepted my friend request and I was able to see pictures of him and his 3 beautiful children. It brought me back to a time of innocent love that was very real (and good). It helped me to understand that my 2 ex Ns are messed up freaks...but there are good people and men out there...who have beautiful lives and are happily married. Maybe one day I'll have a beautiful life with a beautiful man too. I hope.

#12 Mar 20 - 7AM (Reply to #4)

Barbara (not verified)

Social networking

PLEASE be careful aside from Online Dating (ugh!) predators love Social Networking: http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2009/03/facebook-breeding-ground-for-harassment.html

#13 Mar 20 - 9AM (Reply to #6)

GhostBuster

Good advice, Barbara

I only allow people I know to be my "friends" on facebook. I decline friend invitations from others. If you do this, I think facebook is fine. HOWEVER, I do agree about online dating. I met BOTH of my two ex N's through match.com. While I'm pretty soured on online dating, my therapist knows several people (including her partner in practice) who have met their spouses through match so she's not as negative as I am. I guess you just have to screen people better. But that begs the question...if N's are such damned good actors at first, how can you really know what you're getting into? I guess it comes down to having a really fine-tuned antenna for spotting it quickly in the beginning. Easier said than done, I suspect.

#14 Mar 20 - 8AM (Reply to #5)

better off

Hey! That's my N's

Hey! That's my N's preferred new medium. Whaddaya know?

#15 Mar 19 - 8PM (Reply to #3)

Lisa E. Scott

Building awareness while healing

Great idea to post about healthy things we can do for ourselves, Quietude. I'm glad you're feeling better. We all deserve to be happy and as GhostBuster says, we will be happy. There are men out there capable of real, genuine love. For some reason, we became involved with men incapable of loving. Maybe it's so that we can help educate other women on what a narcissist is before they get hurt. With your help, we can build awareness on this epidemic because believe me, the younger generation is going to be dealing with this much more than we have. Today's society breeds narcissism. I worry so much about what kind of men my two little nieces will have to choose from when they grow up.

Path Forward Buy Now Reviews
All About Her Buy Now Reviews
All About Him Buy Now Reviews