1. Home
  2. Forums
  3. Narcissist Forums
  4. The Path Forward Forum
  5. WHAT IF?

WHAT IF?

9 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Dec 24 - 4AM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

WHAT IF?

What if there was valid research newely developed and supported that Narcissist can now feel and love most of all care..What if there was a treatment endused to reinvent there personal traumas and create empathy..

What if you Narcissist can now love today or tommorrow..

Would you forget all the damage and pain he has given to you and go running to his arms ..

Or..

Would you remember all theabuse and pain he has layed upon you and your love ones..your family..your kids..your life

It is a bit amusing how now we are aware that they are very sick we can't seem to let go of the good..
and remember little of the bad the horrors

But ..

If they were now good..would you think we will remember all the horrors and forget about the good..a sought of watch over my back kind of thing..a keep a close eye on your enimies type thing..

Would you beable to forgive and forget if they were magically clinically cured?

Last would you believe now that he is capableof Love ..empathy and care that hell come running back to you only..

Remember these Narcissist have left a trail of broken hearts..The N I was with said he break hearts..his heart doesn't get broken..

Now would you honestly believe he would love you not another women out of all the heartbreaks..or a new woman..

Remember Narcissists have been living without empathy and love for a while..they can be overwelmed with love and choose the very first person to love..and you would be back to square one with hurt..because he didn't choose you..love goes both ways..

There could be hope though now that he is capable of love..you can fight for your man then..

But what if you discovered research had breaking news..Empathy now exists in Narcissists..would you abandon us ..this forum..this thread..our support..would you gol back to him your narcissists?

Dec 24 - 1PM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

lol love it Briseis..The

lol love it Briseis..The Narc I had still has that bumpy face and stink ass feet..someone else can have him too "In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess you"

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Dec 24 - 1PM
Briseis
Briseis's picture

He still has the same fugly

He still has the same fugly mug and voice and body that went along with seven years of mindf*ck and regret, not to mention the loss of everything financial. He can go let someone else experience the joy of his healed ass self.
Dec 24 - 8AM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

Notice with this What if

Notice with this What if question where beginning to get clear answers from ouselves..No No..straight down..this what if question was clear enough to bring out the no in us..This is not just fantasizing or dreaming per se..this helped us bring out yet nother No to these always receiving yes men..My point was to flat out bring a visual to reality..would you do so and so and still stay while remebering all that he did to you..This visual brung out the strength in us to say No..and actually why no..even if theres a yes in whoever would say yes..there still a answer and little confusiion.. The No's are becoming quite clear..we are saying No that's the importance of it all.. "In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess you"

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Dec 24 - 7AM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

michele115 I don't get how

michele115 I don't get how its confusing to you..its a simple question..If your N was mgically cured or treated or developed empathy..love..care..a heart ..would you return to him..? What ifs are necessary because its part of our own personally transition with these men..we swing the word what if around all the time when trying to figure out if he's really a N or not..we try to disect like you say to find out if he is or isn't .. What if was there befor we found Narcissism ..before we found this forum..before we found help..there was always a what..or a if...there was always confusion im trying to say Now I place the two together and just try to visualize what we all have been doing in our relationship before NC..we all have been what ifing and returning back to these men consistantly.. Again the question is .. What if your N became in love with you not himself no longer..and if so in a healthy way..what if..he found love and can love..would you forget the pain or would you embrace it..? Seems difficult to swallow..but thatswhy we are so addicted to theses type of men..because of the what if he is normal..the what if he is a Narcissist..the do I go back or stay NC.. Where always in a What if.. "In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess you"

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Dec 24 - 4AM
Scotchy71
Scotchy71's picture

yes

I have to agree with I'mstrong, I could never forgive mine and the pain cut far too deep to ever be able to trust him again. Regardless of a possible cure, he knew going online not even a week after I flew back home 16 hours on a plane after seeing him, to meet another woman with the intention of having a relationship with her...too much for my stomach to believe he could ever change EVEN if it was in writing he HAD changed. Once the trust is broken, the relationship is gone, you can never go back...it just doesn't work. Hope this makes sense....I care about myself too much and value the morals I have that he never did, to go back and risk getting hurt again....no second chances for him, mine are endless. x
Dec 24 - 4AM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

SKIP

duplicate post
Dec 24 - 4AM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I'm trying to understand

Where you're going with the what if's... Ruminating about the good times is part of the package, part of the healing and a very early part of the recovery - it comes with the territory... However, to fantasize with the what if's when there is so much to dissect with the what is...I'm not sure if I understand your point. What is the objective when contemplating such questions?
Dec 24 - 4AM
Used
Used's picture

IMstrong

no, i would not go back to them, if they changed tomorrow, it would make no diffrence, for me this is not about them lacking empathy, compassion, this is about adult people, who are well aware of what they do, they just dont care, so if a miracle cure came long tomorrow, it doesnt change what they were or what they done. its not even about not caring any more, its about, them knowing full well what they were doing and they still done it. you fogive a 4/5 year old, he knows not what he does, these adults do...