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Psychopathy vs Narcissism
The Defining characteristic of the narcissist is grandiosity. The narcissist is more likely to be attention seeking, envious and to desire admiration.
The defining characteristic of the sociopath/psychopath is callousness. The sociopath/psychopath is more likely to engage in illegal activity, to be aggressive, impulsive and deceitful.
All sociopaths are narcissistic but plain narcissists are not also sociopaths
A sociopath is more violent and openly lacks fear. A narcissist is more about their image and how they appear on the outside. Both lack empathy for others. A narcissist will look their best and rely on others opinions to up their self esteem (also known as narcissistic supply). A sociopath doesn't need others to validate himself/herself like the narcissist does.
A sociopath is more of a predator using others for their personal gain. A narcissist is too self absorbed to care about others and a sociopath can not care about others because of the way they are wired. A true sociopath is born. A narcissist is a product of the environment after age 7. Psychopaths can not help the way they are. They are aggressive individuals with no conscience and they cannot truly love another person. They are angry because, on the inside, they want to be normal. They lash out at innocent people because they cant feel true love and happiness within in relationship. After they realize they cannot get the same thing normal people do out of a relationship, they will turn to crime. Pathological lying and deceitfulness start at a young age with a sociopath. People may assume all sorts of bad things about a sociopath, such as they were abused when they were little or something really bad happened to them that caused them to be so cold. They will then try to change the sociopath and "rescue them." In reality, they will not change, it is who they are. A sociopath will die a sociopath. It is a very lonely life. Without love a person can not feel true happiness.
FYI Newer studies suggest Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Sociopathy may be the exact same syndrome, Sociopathy being the more severe and full-blown version(which might exist on a scale, depending on the severity of the symptoms).
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I refer to the former prof as "ex-Psych professor" to mean he was (is) a psychopath, NOT that he was a professor of psychology. He shared more characteristics with the psychopath/sociopath than the garden variety narcissist. My maternal grandmother and my former boss are Narcs... they seek validation from others, be it from the theater, church, antiquing or the world of cooking. The ex-Psych professor was quite callous... and less needy for the validation of others. He practically lit up when I told him how my friends hated him. It just about made his day.
My Narc grandmother and ex-Narc boss have SOME sense of boundaries. They cause drama, but there's not that degree of callousness and aggressiveness.
The ex-Psych professor recounted being in a mental hospital when he was young. He was also a pathological liar... even when he was caught. (And he was caught several times) He talked about how his grandmother had taken radioactive rocks from an abandoned uranium mine in Idaho, and how she grew pot in a community garden in Ohio (and got arrested for it)... tho in retrospect, HE was probably the one who did those, not her. He'd brag about how he drove his parents crazy. His father has a form of diabetes that results from stress&the lack of sleep. He'd brag about how he caused his father to go bald. Not unlike some of the posters here whose ex-Ns bragged about driving their former wives/girlfriends to depression, drink, and drugs.
I don't see the difference in the the PD types. Is anyone else confused as hell?
Now, I am reading this and some of these things happened, too. The part about living in the present and forgetting promises made and things that were said at the start of the relationship rings true.
Sometimes I think we are all reading too much psych into this, and maybe these guys are just assholes!
This is why you have to educate yourself about personality disorders. It's really a must-do, because you are struggling to get out of a relationship with one. It's part of your healing, the most important first step besides NC.
We are NOT reading to much psych into this lol :) Nope, not at all, though I can understand why a person might think so :)
All you have to do is look at your life right now, the pain and misery in your heart, the humiliating experiences you've gone through and ask yourself if he was just an asshole.
How many YEARS have you spent being jerked around by this asshole? And why? If he's just an asshole, it's a no brainer to shake yourself off and walk away. No cognitive dissonance, no brainwashing. Just EWWWW.
We don't shake ourselves off and move on from Narcs or psychopaths or anyone with a PD. These are abusive relationships of a different type. A much more sinister and soul destroying type.
If we were blowing this all out of proportion, this "movement" to define the experience of victims of Narcs would have died out a long time ago. It hasn't because it's REAL.
Folks who have trouble with this idea usually have trouble because they are grossly minimizing the abuse they endured. They don't trust themselves to know what they know. They are usually in early NC or just beginning to contemplate it. VERY natural, understandable.
But wrong :)
Oh they are assholes alright! And a lot more. Still hurting how many guys have u dated or known that had these characteristics carried on an affair for years and cross dressed for fun? As for the pd s they are all rooted in the same issues fear of abandonment etc.. its just that they are different degrees and different manifestations. I say they are all one step away from serial killers. This article is yet another wake up call for me though I am fairly convinced mine is predominantly borderline
Scary scary scary stuff
Thanks Michele. But now I am confused I don't know if My NH is a Psychopath or a NPD. He has traits of both. After the first 3 months of our relationship he changed from this charming, attentive and perfect person to a violent and abusive monster. By then i was hooked and confused and the rest is history. But i think he is both a Psychopath and NPD because he was involved with 2 murders that I know about and he seem to have o remorse when talking about it.
Scary! I thank God that I'm out and still alive!
There is an article on the site about how NPD was recently dropped from the new version of DSM (diagnostic manual for mental illness) and the traits of NPD are now grouped with Anti-Social Personality (essentially psychopath or sociopath). So, you are confused for a good reason because mental health professionals are still trying to make sense of this.
Thanks Michele for posting this article. The guy I know fits into each category.
I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.
--Helen Keller
I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.
--Helen Keller
Youre so cool! I dont
and another spam
Difference between a Narc and a Sociopath.....
I was dealing with a psychopath..
Now, I am confused....
This is why you have to
Oh they are assholes
Scary SH*T. This should keep
WOW!
victimnomore
the DSM addresses this
Very Eye-Opening
I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding which bringeth peace.
--Helen Keller