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Why did this happen to me? Is there a reason?

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#1 Jun 5 - 5PM
SoaperGirl
SoaperGirl's picture

Why did this happen to me? Is there a reason?

Interesting theory on this website: http://www.narcissismfree.com/art-narcissistic-bubble.php

"When I counsel people who have gone through the horrific pain of narcissistic abuse I always guide them to seek the gift that lies beneath the pain they are feeling. In the midst of our pain, we don’t want to hear “this happened to you for a reason.” Yet there is a method to the madness of the universe. There really is a reason for everything. And..perhaps the reason for this is to help you to see through your own fabrications, your own illusions so that you can become more real."

I think I have become aware of how much I have internalized the fairy tale mythology I gew up with: Prince Charnming has a hole in himself that only 'Finding THE ONE can fill. One perfect person for a perfect fit.

Maybe this is a way of stripping our illusions aside to help us face reality. Just a thought.

Jun 5 - 6PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

I need to read that, SG.

I need to read that, SG. Thanks for posting it. God takes all things and turns them for good, for those who seek Him. That said, God didn't bring this narc into my life. The devil did. I allowed this evil into my life. I knew he was a bad guy. I really and truly did. People warned me. But, I didn't listen. So, God took what I did poorly, my poor choice...and gave me the strength to look inside myself at why I even fell in love with such a jerk. Why I was allowing myself to be degraded. etc. And so...the reason perhaps, is so I could heal from my childhood ''demons,'' once and for all !! So, when we are deep in sorrow over what's happened here to us. Know God will take that sorrow, and bring good from it, if we let Him. {{hugs}}
Jun 5 - 6PM
Four Aces
Four Aces's picture

Why did this happen to me?

Well, I have read some of Kaleigh LaRoche's website before. Although, she makes some valid points about self love and realizing that a narcisstic person is probably not healthy enough for an adult relationship, she also casts some doubts on our mental health. Once again, I believe we have another WOMAN blaming women. No, I dont buy that. There is absoluting nothing wrong with romantic love, passion, and the elation of love. The difference lies within the growth of all of these qualitites between two adults. There is the problem. We get suckered in by the narcissist. Many probably do believe that you are the "one". It's only after much heartache and pain that most of the time we choose to ignore that we realize the relationship stopped growing a long, long time ago. Love is a verb and as soon as we forget that in life our relationships can be doomed. Many times we get so busy with the jobs, the kids, and the family issues we lose sight of the most important relationship. The one we have with oursevles. Are we getting what we need? How about creating an inventory list? What about educating women also on taking care of themselves. This is one of our biggest challenges. These narcisstic relationship will not and cannot sustain the "bumps" in life. They are the first to run for cover - somewhere else and this is usually another woman's house. The challenge we all must rise to is the aftermath of a break up with a narcisstic man. Placing blame on what we did wrong doesnt fix us. It only makes us bitter and resentful toward the few healthy men that may still exist in the world. Loving yourself is just the beginning, the rest is realizing that you made a choice that didnt work. Learn from it and move on.