why is it....

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#1 Jan 10 - 11AM
kungpowcat
kungpowcat's picture

why is it....

that I can blow money on some shoes or clothes, and then later go, that was dumb, I don't need this but it's too late to return them, oh well. But money I gave the ASSHOLE, I sit here fuming over and want it back. But I don't want it back because that means I'd have to deal with him to negotiate HOW to get it back and it's just not worth it because we KNOW how that will go. Piecemeal or it won't happen because he will lie and not follow through. But it still pisses me off.

Jan 11 - 2AM
bgirl
bgirl's picture

I was overly

I was overly generous...what's mine is yours. I know what you mean by now being a bit selfish and I don't like it. But it seems all of my boundaries were not strong....I may just have escaped complete ruin by the skin of my teeth... Scary really.
Jan 11 - 2AM
Im_always_fine
Im_always_fine's picture

$70,000. is a conservative

$70,000. is a conservative estimate. I was ALWAYS been very generous...with everyone...but he absolutely grifted me. He lied, he swindled, he stole. I am no longer generous. I may never be again.
Jan 11 - 8AM (Reply to #21)
kungpowcat
kungpowcat's picture

That was me, too. Towards

That was me, too. Towards the end I was getting, WTF, but at the beginning I had no problem. But he kept promising me he'd pay me back and I believed him. He is a common garden variety thief. I want to tell him that so bad.
Jan 10 - 6PM
matahari
matahari's picture

the son of a bitch owes me

the son of a bitch owes me £68,500 and goes around bad mouthing me...and does not tell that he owes me money,if not because of me he would have lost his farm. I have got my lawyers involved and he is not at all happy, but who gives a shit i am going to take him to hell and back as i have a lot on him like thieft etc etc. and for what he did to me and my family i have lost everything because of this cunt. what do you think? will i be able to do this as most sites say we will never win againt a psychopath.I wonder if i just feel like you i just want it back because its him? you are not alone..i hate him with a vengence and if i see him i might just flip and have to go to jail for my actions.xx sorry i have just had one to many 2nite but i will be ok 2moro but im sur i will still want to kill him!!xx
Jan 10 - 6PM (Reply to #16)
kungpowcat
kungpowcat's picture

oh man that really sucks. I

oh man that really sucks. I have thought about an attorney myself, but I figure by the time I paid the attorney, by the time we got to court, you know, plus, he's far away from me now (moved out of state), and so, I just want to forget it. I don't want the pain of remembering all this. Plus my family doesn't realize I gave him $$ and I don't want them to know. I am ashamed. but if you can take him and stand it...go to court. But remember, just because you get a judgment against doesn't mean you will actually get the money. I figure cuz I gave the jerk money he doesn't have it to pay me back.
Jan 10 - 7PM (Reply to #17)
fallingfoward
fallingfoward's picture

I know :(

My family doesn't know either, and I am ashamed about it to. In one of my rages against him, I said I just taking you to court so everyone can see what a fucking, brokeass loser you are, even if I never get the money. But I know revenge is not the way out...CD...... I'll just keep reading and writing ..... and not do anything till I get my head out of this fog.....
Jan 10 - 7PM (Reply to #18)
kungpowcat
kungpowcat's picture

I understand. Maybe in some

I understand. Maybe in some way knowing they owe us will burn them at some point. Maybe the guilt will make them suffer in some way. And I think I said this in a previous post somewhere, I honestly wonder even if he did give me money, if it would be good. Like the check would clear, and/or seriously, is it stolen? I mean, I do not want any blow back from god knows what to come back to me. The more I read about the narcs and put the pieces of the puzzle together....I knew/know nothing about him and it's scary.
Jan 10 - 9PM (Reply to #19)
fallingfoward
fallingfoward's picture

so true

When I was with him he was taken to court for a stolen check, which he said he didn't steal. OMG, so many issues I buried and went into denial about. Like I said I'll just keep reading.
Jan 10 - 5PM
fallingfoward
fallingfoward's picture

money

I am in the same situation, he owes me cash and money for a phone account. I am still not in Nc,because he was paying me for the account every month, but the last few montha have been hell to me wondering if he"s going to pay or not. He told me he would go to a lawyer to write up a agreement, but that waas several months ago. So of course, he hasn't, it just makes me rage. I have had some awful fights with him about this. He told me he wasn't working, and so I went to his work to see. His boss came out and talked to me, he was very kind, but he did not tell he was not working there. The next day, the narc called me in a rage and told me was fired. How can you be fired if you"re not working? I think I will go to small claims or get a lawyer. I really don"t know what to do. I have thought what Hunter said in her post, that's is his way to keep his ass in my life, control, control, control. He called me a few days later, but I did not answer. contact=pain I keep telling myself that, over and over. I hate this, I have never lend money to a man before and never will again. I really need the money, if I didn"t I would walk away. Plus on the account, interest is adding up. Hate this!!!!!
Jan 10 - 4PM
janemarie
janemarie's picture

I hear ya.........I feel like

I hear ya.........I feel like he is walking around like a proud peacock having all his new home improvements and furniture that I provided for his home that i once lived in and bought for US!!!!!! I hate it!!! But let him....so what...material possessions!! They are still miserable people who will never be satisfied in their lives....unless they are sucking down other people....they will run out of supply eventually....and die alone!!!! That's what I hope for anyway..... Money does NOT buy happiness..try to forget it....that's what im trying to do...... They are the lowest form of 8 different kinds of scum!!!!
Jan 10 - 5PM (Reply to #12)
kungpowcat
kungpowcat's picture

I am trying to forget it.

I am trying to forget it. One thing I can be grateful is that not having the money is not affecting my ability to pay bills or that kind of stuff. I know he will die alone...that is one thing he always said to me. "I will end up all alone forever". Yep. Suck it. Enjoy.
Jan 10 - 7PM (Reply to #13)
janemarie
janemarie's picture

Hahaha...suck it....thats

Hahaha...suck it....thats funny love it!!
Jan 10 - 1PM
Daisyd
Daisyd's picture

Kungpowcat (great moniker)

You must simply (I know, not so simple) view it as a very expensive lesson learned. You paid to learn this lesson didn't you? No different than higher education of a sort. I bet you won't do that ever again!! You got your moneys worth in schooling. I too am out money and it was the only way I could look at it. I also recite a line to myself that Loni Anderson said on one episode of WKRP. "I don't loan money to men, it makes them weak". Hugs Daisy xox
Jan 10 - 1PM (Reply to #10)
kungpowcat
kungpowcat's picture

thanks, hon.

thanks, hon.
Jan 10 - 1PM
Soldier Girl
Soldier Girl's picture

Because

He conned me out of money that I would not have minded spending if the relationship was real but he told one of his ow that he was using me
Jan 10 - 1PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Because in your eyes, it was

Because in your eyes, it was a foolish investment, without a return. Period...... The shoes, or anything else you buy, brought your pleasure, he didn't. He brought you grief, aggravation and heart ache. Plain and simple. He didn't make any deposits in the relationship, only you did.
Jan 10 - 11AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

It's not about the Money..

It's not about the Money.. You know that.. Hunter
Jan 10 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
kungpowcat
kungpowcat's picture

I know. I'm pissed at the

I know. I'm pissed at the asshole. This is just something tangible to latch onto.
Jan 10 - 11AM (Reply to #5)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

It's not about the money with

It's not about the money with them either.. It's about using you to keep you in the game.. Hunter
Jan 10 - 11AM (Reply to #6)
kungpowcat
kungpowcat's picture

yeah, I figure he's going to

yeah, I figure he's going to use that as a hook at some point in the future to get me to break NC again. I will not do it. Even if he did pay me back, I'd worry about the check not clearing, and then god knows where the money came from. I can just see a police investigation or some such crap going down, you know?
Jan 10 - 11AM
bakingfortherapy
bakingfortherapy's picture

been there...

I have been there lady. Same as you...I dont have a problem spending on dresses and boots but I am still a bit peeved over my $ ( probably only $5000 or $6000 total over the 3 years of hell) ( followed by the 8 years of heaven)...BUT.. Its the principal...having the soul stealing vampire have anything else...!! It sucks, I know..but NOT worth trying to get it back. I did try a few times and my N got angry and said " you Owed me! "( becasue he paid for most things throughout the time we were together! Stay NC!!!
Jan 10 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
kungpowcat
kungpowcat's picture

That was part of why I broke

That was part of why I broke NC the last time. Besides the lame ass sappy line I fell for, he said he wanted to pay me back. Of course, when he said he'd mail a check he never did. Quelle Shock! I would never see it even if I bugged him every.single.day. And that's not good for me. But it is the principal. I'm a boot girl, too.....way too many! :)