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Why say it?

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#1 Apr 2 - 10AM
carol24
carol24's picture

Why say it?

My ex-boyfriend ended our relationship. For a long time I tried to keep in touch with him and stay friends hoping that we might get back together but he never made any effort.

In the end I gave up and stopped phoning him. About 9 months later I got an email from him (just casual chatting and did not acknowledge that 9 months had passed). I ignored it and did not reply. Then I kept hearing from friends that he had been talking about me. He told one friend that I was "the love of his life" and to a different friend he said that he wished he had married me.

In the end I couldn't resist. I phoned him and we met up for a coffee. I sat there and waited for him to say he wanted me back but he didn't. He told me he has a new girlfriend.

Why say these things?

Apr 2 - 3PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Because they are Nuts and

Because they are Nuts and Have no feelings. They really are numb. Trying to figure it out is a lost cause. Idealk
Apr 2 - 12PM
Used
Used's picture

carol24

to hurt you,your crime?, you stopped phoning him, he played a game of SOFTLY SOFTLY CATCHEE MONKEY, he waited 9mnths, then began the game again, messages passed to you ,waitng for you to get in touch[b/c you are human], when you did, well you know the rest, i am so sorry for you and how hurt you are, he is a no good bastard, and he will continue you doing this if you let him,please dont let himx
Apr 2 - 11AM
Bitter-sweet
Bitter-sweet's picture

control

He managed to lure you back. Then he delivered his cruel message re new GF. He succeeded in hurting you- which may have been his goal all along. Sadly, we are no match for these people- that's why we need to go NC. My N told me I was 'the love of his life' - I imagine that's proved a very successful line for Ns. But there's no sign of my N now... Go back to resisting- you were doing so well. Experience tells me that Ns know just what works and sadly, they enjoy tormenting us. Also tell your friends that you don't want to hear anything else about him. Take the control back. Know that you deserve better- we all do.
Apr 2 - 5PM (Reply to #5)
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

control freak but mine did not like to hurt me

He was awful to me but very polite and never let on to other women or cheating during the relationship or spoke of new GF after the break up. I texted him in DEc that i was doing better with life's changes (this was in the middle of our break up and I was just trying to save face). He is so literal that I think he took this at face value - only he then saw I was not over him a few weeks later and maybe lost patience with me taking too long to move on... I think he does not "get" emotions but knows it is not cool to try to hurt someone you feigned as girlfriend who was good to you. They say Narcs due experience guilt and that Psychopaths don't. Narcs just do bad things cause that is what they do - not a plan to hurt you, you just get hurt by being in their path - where as the Psychopaths are sadistic and take pleasure in it. Narcs don't want to be the bad guy - at least my x N realll really liked to be the nice guy.
Apr 2 - 11AM
dudette
dudette's picture

because....

He is a sick twisted disordered individual.....and he was hoping you would break NC, which you did.... Hard lesson....tough gig as I'd say.... Much love to you as I know how hard this sucks x x x
Apr 2 - 11AM
kgirl
kgirl's picture

More cruel mind games....I'm

More cruel mind games....I'm so sorry this happened to you! hugs for you
Apr 2 - 11AM
Alisa
Alisa's picture

Wow, that is really mean.

Wow, that is really mean.