The worst punishment for the narcissist....

20 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Apr 21 - 10AM
blessingindisguise's picture

The worst punishment for the narcissist....

The worst punishment for a narc would be to be locked in a room with nothing but themselves. Eventually, the demons and thoughts will come up. There would be nowhere to hide, like a vampire that is exposed to sunlight. The absolute truths would surface. This is agony for a narc. Now aren't you glad you're not them?

Apr 25 - 11AM
ifinallygotit's picture

sociable and a loner

Mine went both ways: He enjoyed being a hermit alone in his man cave and was always a terrible conversationalist with me - even when he would call me he would have nothing to say, mimic my words and stay on the phone a long time!! Always at his convenience. But, he was a highly social gregarious outgoing friendly person with the outside world - bars etc. Also, he had no problem carrying on normal conversations with his male friends on the phone or the media when interviewed. In other words, he only acted weird with me, his significant other - maybe not so significant since he had no trouble abandoning me quickly after his move. That is why N's are not "autisitic" or physically limited by their brains - they can turn it on and off - it is a psych issue and not an organic limitation - so frustrating...
Apr 25 - 8AM
Susan32's picture

Being his own worst punishment

That's weird, in a sense, because when I broke NC, I told the ex-Psych prof that he didn't need ME to punish him... that HE was his very own best punishment. Plus I said it with a smile.
Apr 21 - 3PM
Ladydb123's picture

The worst punishment

Yes, I did notice this about my Narc Friend, when his 17 yr old son moved out of his home last year because he got fed up with his Dad manipulting and controlling him and wanting him to be perfect. Narc lost it from being in his empty nest. He would keep me on the phone for hours he could not stand being alone unless he was working on one of his own projects then you got totally ignored. When he found out that his son started smoking MJ he lost it again. Now his son has gone totally Gothic. I am remembering alot now that I know who he is. I only hope that me going totally NC will not make him surface. I am hoping he has found a new supply. I feel bad for these other ladies but I need to protect myself.
Apr 21 - 3PM
indenial's picture

no conversation

Mine was just the opposite. Conversation was hard work and he was dull and quite an insular person. Unsociable and no real friends bar one who is a narc himself. Other people find they have no conversation with him either. Talking to him on the phone was such hard work ! He didn't seem to realise though. Hed never make small talk or idle chit chat. No fun at all. Does that mean he's not a narc !? Oops ! I don't want to be having doubts. That's what's kept me stuck !!
Apr 22 - 4AM (Reply to #16)
agnesmurphy17's picture

Mine to

Mine appeared polite & affable. But he was no fun. He was no charmer in a group. In fact, rather silent & taciturn. Mine is French. When I met him, he had been in the States a short period of time & was still trying to get his English fluency up. I made excuses for his silence at the time because I thought that he was not understanding the English conversations. But we went to France & had a series of dinners with his colleagues whom he was very impressed with. I was surprised at how little my N participated in the conversations which were occurring in his own language. Acually, I think N was invited to this series of dinners because his colleagues wanted ME. They wanted to speak with this foreigner whom N snagged. Thereafter, I was often in the presence of these colleagues. I think they were all rather impressed with me, liked me, & suddenly started including him into certain activities because they wanted me. My N's profession is a rather male dominated world. So a pretty & educated woman is always a welcome addition. And, I know, N refused to bring the woman who replaced me to meet these colleagues. He made clear to her that after me, she would be a disappointment to his colleagues. How's that for a D&D? And you ladies imagine that they are different with the NW?
Apr 22 - 3AM (Reply to #15)
jaycee's picture


Listen, yes hes a narc, because if he isnt, neither is mine. mine had no use for small talk, idle chit chat, or for that matter, having any conversations. He used to say, you talk to much, im watching this, i dont want to listen, on the phone forget it, he would crawl out of his own skin, he prefers texting, because then no one knows what a dull, lifeless vampire he truly is. He has no real friends, just his looser friends he sits at bars with on the weekends. they all think they are still in hs, and sit around drinking, smoking pot, and get this, they sniff coke, oh my God, get out of the eighties, you bunch of loosers........ewwwwwwww, so trust me, narcs, especially the dangerous ones, hate to chat, they are to interested in thinking about their next move, or how many lives they have going on at the moment.......mine would be plotting how he would see his ow, screw his fuck buddy, call his other fuck buddies, and come home and pretend to be my husband, he did this for twenty five years, and guess what, he talks even less now...........maybe by the time he is 60 he will be


Apr 22 - 2AM (Reply to #14)
Journey's picture

He just sounds like an

He just sounds like an antisocial narc. No need for doubts to slow your recovery. journey on...

Journey on...

Apr 21 - 5PM (Reply to #13)
onwithmylife's picture


mine was the same way and even asked me once why i made small talk with other people, I looked at him like he was from another planet and said that is what makes the world go around, he was from another planet, send him back!!!!!!!!!!!!!He is probably a narc, mine sure is.
Apr 21 - 2PM
Alisa's picture

One thing that I noticed

One thing that I noticed about my narc almost instantly was how restless he seemed. Always in need of some "action" or entertainment. I realized long before I knew anything about narcs that he was someone who could never ever be comfortable by himself. I am a very talkative, social person but I have no problem being by myself for long periods of time (as in: several days without talking to anybody)
Apr 21 - 3PM (Reply to #10)
Veronrose's picture

Hi Alisa, That was mine too.

Hi Alisa, That was mine too. He sorta had all this nervous energy. I noticed it too right away. We chatted for 5 days on the phone before we even met. I even said to him during one of those phone conversations, "You seem nervous". He said,"No, why do you say that?" and I said, "Because you're talking so fast and I can barely understand what your saying". He laughed ALL the time....sorta giggly. I attributed it to him being hyper. Now I know he IS hyper, always has to be on the go, and gets bored easily. When I described this to a good friend, she said that it almost sounded like he was "speeding". I don't think he does drugs, but who the heck knows.
Apr 21 - 3PM (Reply to #11)
Alisa's picture

OMG, totally forgot about the

OMG, totally forgot about the fast talking on the phone. I couldn't understand half of what he was saying. My ex before him had ADD, so I was somewhat used to some hyper-ness but it was more like restlessness compared with being driven by some invisible force. We recently (about 2 months ago, during round 2, shortly after devaluation had started) took a ballroom dance class together and the teacher criticized him immediately saying something like "Where are you trying to go with these huge steps you're making? There's no way your partner can keep up with you" I remember grinning inside because there was someone criticizing him and I also saw the irony of the comment and how it applied to our relationship/friendship in general. It was at a time when I had started seeing that he was the problem and not me, about 2 weeks or so before I realized he was a narc...
Apr 21 - 1PM
Scoop's picture

Im pre menstral tonight .. so

Im pre menstral tonight .. so bring it on ! the worst punishment for the narc is exposure and NC . And in a way it is the same as locking them up in a room but in real life . By going nc we hurt them and it is the only way to hurt them , cutting of supply to them is like a death .So when we say go nc for you if you are into revenge which tonight seems a good idea lol it is a beautie of a revenge , and it kills them slowly and surely , if we remember their worst fear is adandoment then you can see that nc is affective on every level .. :)
Apr 21 - 9PM (Reply to #6)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I've been NC for just over 5

I've been NC for just over 5 weeks now. But the day it all finally went down it was very strange. He had given me the BIG D & D several weeks before, but we were still locked in "the dance." There had been several attempts at NC during this time on my part. He would call or text and I would ignore it for a couple of days and finally give in and respond. There was fighting, me venting and getting things off my chest, trying to get closure, blah, blah, blah. But the LAST day of contact, we actually had a fairly "decent" conversation (in comparison to others.) That night we were texting as follow-up to earlier in the day, and in true Narc fashion, he turned on me at one point and got nasty when I wasn't even attacking him. I was expressing my feelings and wasn't being negative or argumentative. But it deteriorated to the point that the last thing he wrote to me was, "Don't ever contact me again in any form. No calls, emails or texts." And that was that, except for the final text I sent him saying he was dead to me now and would never hear from me again. Neither one of us has made an attempt to contact the other. SO. My questions are: Since HE told ME not to contact him anymore, is he relieved I haven't? Was it a challenge because he didn't think I'd be able to resist trying in some way at some point? Is he really affected by my NC with him like HE wanted? Is his ego bruised at all? Is he pissed because he lost control? Does he even notice? Does he even think of me (the supply I gave him and miss it?) I would love to think I'm driving him crazy right now (realizing that it's just because he's frustrated, angered, whatever it is he feels when he doesn't get his way.) He has ample supply right now with the new GF he gets to spend all his free time with, unlike me because I live on the other side of the country. And he's getting supply from family and friends who are all "applauding" this new relationship.
Apr 21 - 9PM (Reply to #7)
Veronrose's picture

Smitten, I too would love to

Smitten, I too would love to know the answer to your questions, cause I wonder most of that about mine too. Maybe somebody here with more experience could answer Smitten, and help me at the same time????
Apr 21 - 9PM (Reply to #8)
Veronrose's picture

Forgive me, I didn't mean to

Forgive me, I didn't mean to say "answer" the questions, but perhaps shed some light?
Apr 21 - 1PM (Reply to #4)
exhausted's picture

Good Advice! My therapist

Good Advice! My therapist told me the only way I will ever get revenge is to ignore him.
Apr 21 - 4PM (Reply to #5)
sara-smile's picture


Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Love the picture of your Narc! He really does look like a platypus!
Apr 21 - 12PM
strongerthanever's picture

And this is why he needed

And this is why he needed someone to provide chatter. He wanted a chatty Kathy, which I am not. I am ok sitting in a car listening to music for a few hours and not say a word. What can I say after we would spend an entire weekend with his family, chatting, and now driving 6 hrs home...he would want to talk about every single topic known to man. I'm tired, just want peace and quiet for a little bit. This is how I recharge. He needed chatter to keep his mind off of himself and what was going on in his mind. My mom used to say, "if he stopped and really looked at himself, he would see that he turned into his father. And his previous thoughts of suicide would be acted upon. He would put the gun to his head." And he would rock in a rocking chair or was soothing for how you would do for a child. Coincidence? I don't think so.
Apr 21 - 2PM (Reply to #2)
Veronrose's picture

Interesting that your's

Interesting that your's needed chatter. Mine said to me once, "I talk a lot when I have nothing to say". Now I'm wondering what he meant by that. Hmmmm.