Who am I , again?
Who am I , again?
Hello All,
I have not shared my story and yet, reading many of your stories, I don't know what I can add that isn't different from mine. It's all the same: devastation, disbelief, devalued and discard. My life was twisted and turned upside down 3-times and back. Yet, I had the strength to reach for help, to ask questions...WTF HAPPENED?! How did i allow myself to be taken by such an unsavory person....no money, no looks, no 'working' penis. I am at a loss....WTF HAPPENED?!?
I was so grateful to find this place and feel relief about the possibility of returning to myself.
I can say this: i miss him, the idea of him, because the 'him' i miss was never real. I can say this: I am empty and trying to refill my life. I can say this: figuring out who I am now vs. who i was is unbelievably hard! My talents, my drives, my hobbies, my goals.....trying to rediscover myself again. What is apparent are all my insecurities. EVERY SINGLE ONE. I fight everyday to make sure I understand that they are not who I was before and now.
The good news is, the whole in my head seems to be gone. I actually felt i had a whole right in the middle of my head, between my eyes. It was empty and tender there to touch. I was a shell. I walked in darkness...now there is light. I think I am filling back up again. In little places, but with myself.
It has been 4 months since the end, I still receive crazy emails from strange accounts ( I know it is him), they say things like TWAT and control freak...what have I let into my life...why must he still bother me?!?
Almost
They will suck suck suck suck
Perfect account of the highs
The idealization stage is
I can relate to the imagery
Almost, strongheart, welcome
spinning
Thank you Spinning!
Hi Almostfound
Thank you Freaked
AlmostFound, Welcome! Though