I will be fine...........

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#1 Feb 10 - 9AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

I will be fine...........

This has been the week from hell for me........didn't start out to be about the N's in my life. However, between the end of a friendship with one of my closets friends due to a ridiculous misunderstanding and than learning from my tax man, that I owe an exhuberant amount of money this year in taxes that I didn't see coming, I was still standing.

Yesterday, I received an email through work from my ex-husband N, remember him? He sent me the song by Adele "Someone like you". Today, I learned that he is on a plane heading to, more than likely an exotic destination, to marry and honeymoon the OW. I imagine by the song choice, it was his last D & D. Or at least will hope it is.

"Someone Like You"

I heard that you're settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, "
Yeah

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."
Yeah

Beautiful song choice. Couldn't have done better if I tried. Please note, no matter how well things are handled, and you are healed, we still will hurt at times. It is ok to be sad when you learn of things such as this. We are only human after all. If we weren't saddened by this, we would have to question our own emotional capabilities I think.

I felt I should share........

Feb 12 - 4PM
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Good Riddance,

F'd up POS!
Feb 12 - 2PM
fooled no longer
fooled no longer's picture

yes its all about me me me!!!

yes its all about me me me!!! he couldnt even be original and see that this would be the song that you would send him if you cared, but you dont. hes a arsewipe to rub your face in it. the honeymoon will soon be over. I told my narc before he left , that there would be another woman in his life very soon and he would fuck up with her too, and each time it gets worse. the song from adele that really applies is "Rolling in the deep" we could have had it all, you had me in the palm of your hand, but you played me. youre gonna wish you never had met me. youre gonna wish you never had met me. pity his bride on her honeymoon. my narc cheated on his exwife on her honeymoon and then boasted about it. thats what Narcs do, they are pathological. hes a POS delete delete delete its all about him. be strong xxxxx
Feb 11 - 4PM
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Oh Sparrow

Same ole same right up until the bitter end. He sends you that song because ta...da....he is thinking about himself, no real surprises there, he is what he is. I love what you said about how far you have come and if this had been a year ago and letting us know what comes next. I agree completely with you. You are amazing as to how you are perceiving and handling this. I will remember this moment and your dignity and grace when I am sure I will soon hear the news that my X has some young girl with child and is marrying her as well. Often on here what we go through before the others do, most assuredly paves the way for our sisters and brothers with collective encouragement and strength. Love you lots and love your style, you have an abundance of style and grace dear Sparrow. God bless, Goldie
Feb 11 - 9AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Your support and kind words,

Your support and kind words, everyone, has been wonderful and i am thankful for them. I received a few pm's in regards to this, checking to make sure that I am ok, and as I answered them, I thought I should share the same words on the thread as well. My main reason for posting this story was to let everyone know what they can expect down the road a ways, because life does go on for the narc, and it must go on for us too. And this latest turn of events is a perfect example of that happening. I am grateful for the forum and for my journey. If I hadn't have healed, honestly, before this newest situation, i would have crashed and burned for sure. My point being, it is so very important to concentrate on you, and your healing, becasue what is ahead of us, right around the corner, is not always predictable. And we need to be strong and more importantly, we need to know that our life with the narc is truly over, for us, it has to be in order to survive in the future. Did it hurt, absolutely, did it destroy me, no way. If this had happened a year ago, I may have given up and never continued on my journey. To have to know that someone else has my name, my life, my husband, my family, this time last year would have devastated me. But, with my journey to recovery, I am strong enough to not only deal with it, but except it as well. And know in my heart of hearts, that I would have never returned to him anyway, so it really doesn't matter what they do, what matters is that I am ok. And I am. Thank you so much for all of your kind words, love, friendship and support. We have an amazing group of members here, that come from many different parts of the world, many different backgrounds, and have many different stories to share, but the common bond is the narc. Without the narc, i wouldn't have met the likes of any of you. So for that, I am forever grateful. You are all my pot at the end of my rainbow. I love each and every one of you and I hope and pray that you too, come to heal. Work hard, stay strong, and allow yourself to feel the sorrows that come your way. Because after all, they are what reminds you of who you are and better yet, what you are............a kind, loving, beautiful soul, with so much to offer yourself and the world. The disordered in your life tried everything to take that away from you and failed. xoxoxoxo
Feb 11 - 4PM (Reply to #28)
Fearless
Fearless's picture

I love birds...

You are my new favorite bird, Sparrow! So very sorrow for the tough week and the painful blow from your Xnarc. Your strength and grace in the manner you are dealing with it and in not letting it get you down are very inspriational. If you could bottle that strength...I will definitely buy a gallon please. :) I'm already feeling more fearless each day because of friends like you. Thanks for posting your personal struggles ... this could not have been easy to do, but in doing so you have helped so many bond and become stronger. -fefe

FeFe

Feb 11 - 4PM (Reply to #27)
Journey
Journey's picture

Well said Sparrow. (hugs)

Well said Sparrow. (hugs)

Journey on...

Feb 11 - 9AM (Reply to #26)
sadderbutwiser
sadderbutwiser's picture

thank you sparrow

thank you for all of the support you have given others along the way. i am so sorry that prick is still trying to hurt you. they are all so pathetic! reading your posts has helped me so many times when i was so confused and hurt by his subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle cruelty. you helped me to see how twisted they are, which made it easier for me to go NC and stay NC (20 months). even though i have been out for that long, it still does hurt (he lives near me, so i see him walking around alot). also, i too have lost a close female friend whom i have come to realize is a full-blown narc. i feel that hurt as well. it does suck, but we are strong people on here (thanks to you and the other mods). i wish i could meet all of you in person. love to all
Feb 11 - 6AM
Littleone
Littleone's picture

this makes me really really

this makes me really really angry. What a jerk!!! I hate these Ns!!
Feb 11 - 7AM (Reply to #24)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Sparrow

Please post back on and let us know you are ok x
Feb 10 - 9PM
walking_on_sunshine
walking_on_sunshine's picture

What an asshole.

What an asshole.
Feb 10 - 9PM
phantom adoration
phantom adoration's picture

I am so sorry. I feel your

I am so sorry. I feel your pain as I found out today my suspicions that my N is in fact with an OW on the trip he and I always took as our trip every year in February. I physically felt ill and cried, still crying a little, not so bad now. Knowing only gives me the strength to fight hard for my well being, financially and emotionlly. Afterall he did tell me last September in an email, one week after he sent orchids for our anniversary, he could no longer honor forsaking all others after 22 years. Of course I am now facing the reality there were many others he could not forsake. Like you a terrible week, a full moon. I check in to the forum before I go to bed and just needed to share tonight. The feelings of not being good enough threatened to claim me once again and I am fighting hard. Hope to start a book, to distract. Even with a minor child, soon to be an adult, by law anyway, he simply no longer exists for me. Just have to jump the legal hurdles. "HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED" No truer words, fight on....
Feb 10 - 9PM
Londonteacher
Londonteacher's picture

You have been such a source

You have been such a source of strength and comfort. And you continue to be so, even after this horribly upsetting event. Instead of allowing this to beat you down, you are using this experience to remind all of us of some very important lessons. Specifically, that we are human and we will still feel immense pain from time to time. I am so sorry that this happened to you, but I applaud and appreciate your courage and willingness to share.
Feb 10 - 7PM
Redhead
Redhead's picture

Sparrow

What a sick prick!!!!!!!!! I'm so sorry sweetie. If this woman is so great & he is so happy, why is he making contact with you? Rest assured, it won't last. He'll probably start the D&D before they return.
Feb 10 - 7PM
heritage
heritage's picture

Once again when hurtful

Once again when hurtful things come your way, they are handles with grace. I am once again learning from you, as you handle tough times. I told you once that when a post comes up on here and it is titles he's ehgaged to OW I cannot read the post. And here you are feeling that pain. I am thinking about you as you go through this and marvel at the dignity you display. Your insides are beautiful and radiate your outside. sip some hot tea and keep up with your optimistic thoughts. You will rise above this just like you do with everything else, with grace and dignity. xoxo
Feb 10 - 7PM
coffeeaddict66
coffeeaddict66's picture

Ohhh....Sparrow

I am so sorry to hear this. This is so incredibly cruel. Clearly his new "love" doesnt have his complete attention or he wouldnt have thought this much about how to hurt you. This is horrible. My heart breaks for you. You have been so kind, wise and helpful to me, I wish I had the right words to help you, but sadly I just dont know what to say. I will pray for you. Know I am thinking of you. Hugs always Coffee
Feb 10 - 7PM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

sparrow

you are one heck of a strong woman and handle things in a very enlightened way, let the week from hell pass on.................
Feb 10 - 5PM
greengirl91
greengirl91's picture

Sparrow girl, I was wondering

Sparrow girl, I was wondering where you are, or how have been doing! Haven`t seen you, not on FB not here, I thought something might happened, or you took some time just for yourself.. Listen, that assclown, Narc, toxic man whoever he is, you loved him, you did..and is so cruel for him to do this to you, especially this song!! I don`t know you see..after all this, what I have understood and tried to accept is, look whatever they have done to us there is a place in my heart where yes, still hurts and longs for him. I hear songs on the radio, I feel him, but it`s just that. Then in the morning, I need to wake up to reality, MY reality, pay the bills, how do I get the money, job, stuff. Would he in any circumstance would have catched me? If I believed any of his "words" and blindly trusted them, would I still be alive, or in a coma?.. I am so sorry this happened to you, so close to Valentine`s Day. I am sure he did it on purpose to you, just to hurt you. Please try to hang in there, feel the feelings whatever they are. You lifted so many of us here with your positive light and love..you can do this, it will pass. Send you much love, and please don`t take this too much to your heart..he did that to you because he knew how much it would hurt. Assclowns or not, we still love them deep down in there, and probably that`s why it still hurts. I know for me, if I would hear something bad happened to him (Narc), yes, it would still mess me up. Because you can`t kill what a person means to you..you just musn`t let that destroy your life, your present, reality. Hope you`ll be better soon! Hugs! >:D< GG
Feb 10 - 3PM
Run4it
Run4it's picture

Ughhh what crappy Contact from him

Sparrow, so sorry that you have to go through the "feelings". He is a cruel man. You are a wonderful woman. I know from experience, as a long time single woman caring for myself, there is nothing worse than the trifecta - Friends. Money. Man. When they all 3 hit at once, it can make you quite blue. You will work through all 3 and come out OK. Love ya girl! Run4it
Feb 10 - 12PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Thanks, everyone........for

Thanks, everyone........for your kind and supportive words. I am fine, I really am. It hurts, only because the love I had for my husband was real. I am not crippled by the news, just a slight kick in the gut. I knew something was around the corner when I received that song. It is what it is, what will be will be and we have to always forge forward. Does it suck? Absolutely. But, with that said. This is a perfect example of the mind games that they play. I have overcome so much in the past 2 years, so I won't let it hurt for too long. I will allow it to hurt, like I mentioned in my post, but I won't drag it out. Like I mentioned to Hunter, better for it to have happened during a horrible week, than for it to happen during a great week. @Jane.......thanks for the invite to "get smashed" lol Much appreciated. Did that once this week, and nothing good comes from it, and you feel even worst afterwards. lol I had a glas of wine, than another, and another.........I was the president of the "Wine and Whiners Club" that night. I will resign my post on that one though, someone else can gladly have the role of president in that club. lol Nothing good comes from booze when you are stressed or upset. Lesson learned I am sure by many of us. :) Thanks again everyone! :)
Feb 11 - 10AM (Reply to #13)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Sparrow

Thanks for posting, I didnt see your earlier post about Wine and Whiners, it did make me smile..I am def in your club there lol. x x
Feb 10 - 12PM (Reply to #11)
janemarie
janemarie's picture

Just trying to lighten the

Just trying to lighten the mood LOL Alcohol never mixes well with sadness......or with cheeseburgers and fries at 2 am..... Just a bump here...keep smiling ((HUGS))
Feb 11 - 10AM (Reply to #12)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

JaneMarie

Not those damn cheeseburgers again! I find alcohol goes great with them at 2am..its the 7am dying pose when I have to drag myself out of bed for water resembling the man in the desert when I regret it :)
Feb 10 - 12PM
Used
Used's picture

sparrow

He Flatters Himself ....that you would be even remotely Interested......SAYS A LOT ABOUT HIS MARRIAGE HONEYMOON... ITS SO RIVETING THAT HE IS SENDING HIS EX WIFE SONGS...AFTER ASKING HIS EXW TO COME BACK OF COURSE, WHEN HIS OW WAS IN THE HOSPITAL BEING TREATED FOR CANCER.... WOW WHAT A WINNER YOU LOST THERE SPARROW...."NOT"....
Feb 10 - 12PM
janemarie
janemarie's picture

I knew something was up with

I knew something was up with you...and I was worrying:( I guess this is your "Chutes and Ladders" theory that you always tell me about.... Like you stated...as much as you are healed, it still hurts.. You were one of the first people to ever comment on my post and I remember feeling so comforted by your kind, sensitive words...I pictured you as a tall woman with long flowy hair who plays the harp...an angelic type woman!! What some of us forget at times is that you and the mods here on the forum are human, and suffer sometimes too....I wish now that I could find such comforting words for you:) Im so very sorry that you are hurting right now!! Please know that I will be thinking of you!!! xoxo And PS...My kids are away this weekend so if you wanna get hammered with me...I have 3 open beds!!!! :)
Feb 10 - 11AM
dazed
dazed's picture

Sorry to hear of your tough

Sorry to hear of your tough week, with the N and the friend. I hope things start looking up for you. Make sure to take care of yourself.
Feb 10 - 10AM
fallingfoward
fallingfoward's picture

I'm glad

I'm glad he out of your life, what an asshole. Sparrow, I can tell you are such a strong woman for all your posts. Many times they have encouraged me to keep going on. I hope things work out with you and your friend. Keep moving forward, you amazing lady. Hugs
Feb 10 - 10AM
Kukla
Kukla's picture

Well...

I do hope heading to Jamaica and will somehow be eaten up by sharks with my EXN who's down there with his new bride.
Feb 10 - 10AM
pamela1
pamela1's picture

What a jerk for sending that

What a jerk for sending that song to you. Better he is marrying someone else and you got away from him... I too can not bare to hear that song, afraid I will start crying, and be unable to stop.... My heart is so heavy....... I am still in the shock phase....
Feb 10 - 9AM
13Moons13
13Moons13's picture

I can't even listen to that

I can't even listen to that song..causes me to remember the exN and have a panic attack.
Feb 10 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

What a creep

Just shows they dont change ever!!! Big hug to you for getting through this horrible week. I hope you and your friend sort it out if thats what you want. You have offered such support to me so a big hug back for you x