Happy1's Story

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#1 Jun 9 - 7AM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Happy1's Story

I am new to this site. I have been dating my narcissist for 2 years now. My life has changed quite a bit over these past 2 years and not for the better. I have been so engrossed in him and everything about him. I didn't any red flags and had no clue what a narcissist was until about a year into this and I'm still in it.
My N was charming at first I must say and did say all the right things. I'm a person that loves to please others and wanted to please him from the beginning. We worked at the same company and I was head over heals in love with him.

About six months into our relationship, I stood up for myself in the work elevator about something insignificant and he broke up with me and said no one treats him this way. He broke up with me for 3 months and during that time had take another woman to Mexico, etc. During those months I begged for him back. I was horrible and I'm ashamed of myself. But since then he has broken up with me so many times I can't count. Each time he breaks up with me for a few weeks or a month or so at a time, he dates other woman and always sees this particular lady. I feel like that's cheating because we break up so darn often. I feel he has complete control over our relationship.

He tells me he doesn't love me and that I ruined any chance of love because of my jealousy. He's right! I do have jealousy because he gives other women attention that I crave! I crave his affection and attention and I get nothing!! i cannot explain a thing to him or he breaks up. He just sent a text over to me just now that he's not happy with us and I have gone all sweaty and can't stand it. He's breaking up with me AGAIN!!! I don't know what to do!!

Jun 10 - 12PM
eyeswideopen
eyeswideopen's picture

you are worth so much more

This man is a creep who does not deserve a person like yourself. Please seek help through counseling because you need help to stand up against him. You are the comfortable "old shoe" he can always count on. I know because that was my role also. Take control and leave him now, he will only change for the worse and you cannot change him. You can only change you. There is a real man out there who can appreciate you but NO man is better than this creep. Go No Contact and you will regain control of your life. Do not listen to any more of his lies and abuse. I wish you strength in your journey!
Jun 10 - 6AM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

welcome sad1

- PLEASE go through ALL the pages on 'Message Board' as I have loaded it with articles and your questions have probably already been asked and answered many many times. Click through the pages and read what interests you. You'll get up to speed and learn a LOT. PLEASE do this BEFORE asking questions. - PLEASE read the stories of others. This alone is one of the most validating things you can do. Far too many become completely wrapped up in their own drama... which just makes it all worse. - PLEASE read through our WHOLE blog: http://www.lisaescott.com/blog - chock full of articles about Ns and healing. It will answer many questions before you ask them. PLEASE read the Rules prior to posting. Thanks - listen to our free radio show - archived at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/allabouthim Remember this board is NEVER to be used as a replacement for therapy. Please find a therapist and start going if you feel the need for whatever level of PTSD he's given you ASAP! remember: YOU did nothing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong. ~~~~~~~~~ Effective Coaching Specifically for Victims of Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
Jun 9 - 9AM
ewa
ewa's picture

I know what to do.

My story is similar. I was with my exN for almost 3 years. He kept his cheating secretly, but i would always found out. Once i found out and told him i know he was saying: This is because i was planning to break up with you and move on."This is because you are spying at me." Basically he was breaking up with me himself only when i found out about his cheating. And i hope i have found out about all of them. I kept bagging him to come back like you. I made stupid of myself. I looked like the ghost and people around me were looking strangely at me because i didn't hear what they say to me. Is like my brain switched off and all i could think about was him. So what you should do: 1. Understand that you are valuable person and you should be with man who respects you and your feelings. 2. Break up with him 3. Read this side, post here and keep NO CONTACT Please do understand that he will not change. Please do understand that if you will stay with him he will destroy your life. Now when i look back i wish i could move the time back and break up with him when i saw first red flags. The life with my ex N was exciting, full of adventure, we have traveled , we did sports like skiing and rafting, we have visited all this countries - and i miss this activities, but after few months without him i realized i dot miss him and the way he used to treat me. I don't miss being suspicious. But was it worth 3 years of my life, while i could find a good man for myself who will be there for me forever and only for me? I still believe that one day i will meet such a guy. And I hope you will open your eyes and find a great guy for yourself too. REMEMBER - we have maybe only 1 life. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO SPENT YOUR LIFE THIS WAY? CRYING, WORRYING, BEING JEALOUS...ETC???? Just be nice for him and then suddenly disappear. If you can change your phone nr and block his emails...and dont close yourself at home go out with your friends and enjoy the life. Because life is beautiful!!!
Jun 10 - 9AM (Reply to #13)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

my imagination

I picture him having this great life after I'm gone and my horrible imagination is what is keeping me in this. I have no self control when it comes to him. I don't know what has happened to me. I'm not myself anymore. My thoughts are consumed by him and my priorities are with him and they should be with my son. I feel guilty all the time and feel like a horrible mother. All I think of is my N and I hate myself for it and yet I cannot control it. My thoughts and feelings are 2 different things and my feelings always take over.
Jun 10 - 10AM (Reply to #25)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Sad1

I know exactly how you feel. You cannot make yourself stop obsessing about him, even though your children are desperate for you. I have not bought groceries for almost a year. It doesn't even occur to me. In the morning, my daughters say, "We're hungy." I take them to the convenience store for granola bars. At night they say, "We're hungry" and I take them out to dinnner. In between they say, "We're hungry; we're thirsty." And I say, "some water. There's nothing else." There's a tiny voice, far, far away in my head yelling,"Your daughters have no food," but I can't spend a drop of attention listening to it. I'm too busy wondering what HE is doing, where he is, who he is talking to, if he is thinking about me, when he is coming home, if he is going to stop at a girlfriend's house on the way, what he's having for dinner, what he's wearing. The scariest thing is having gotten to the point where I thought I was going to end up in jail or with my children taken away because I couldn't stop yellling at him in the street, hitting him, texting him begging him to explain himself to me. I literally felt like I had completely lost control of myself and I was so scared. I've only been no contact for a few days, but I feel a little of my own power back already. I don't know what's going to happen, but I am at least loving my daughters. I still haven't been to the store, but I am starting to pay some attention to them.
Jun 10 - 11AM (Reply to #26)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

no food in house

I know what you're speaking of about groceries. I feel so bad that I never have food in the house for my son. We go out to eat all the time. Fast Food is our middle name now. I feel just horrible. I play the Wii with him a little to try to do stuff with him but I know he gets ignored mostly by me. I'm always waiting for a text from my N or an email. I feel sick now and disgusted with myself all the time. I've seen a therapist for a year now and still cannot break away from this guy. I feel so lost and confused. He's all consumed me and I'm scared. We've broken up for periods of time in the past because he says he cannot handle my insecurity and jealousy and no one will ever treat him that way. I want to scream... What about treating me like crap!! but I don't. I don't because he never once has ever seen my side of things so I've given up trying. When I stand up for 'me' he breaks up with me. I still do it out of self preservation I guess because I cannot control myself sometimes and have to stand up for myself. My strength to fight isn't much and he ends up winning in the end.
Jun 10 - 10AM (Reply to #14)
ewa
ewa's picture

smile

Smile please :) i felt the same i also imagined what i will loose if i finish it, every of us does. He is never going to have great life, because he can not love, he doesn't have real friends, his life is fake. I know you lost control over yourself, and is very very terrible situation i was in this situation too. And i will tell you it feels so much better after few months when i really feel like i am getting control over my life back. I am so much happier. Before i was sick every month i thought sth was with my immunity system. After i moved out of him on the beginning of January i haven't been sick even once. Now i know it was because of him , because this constant stress. I know about thoughts and feelings - i felt same - my mind was telling me he is not the right one,that he treats me bad and my feelings were telling me that i love him, that he is a good person just can not show it, and that my life without him will be a disaster. All this happens because they are great manipulators. I don't feel a need to contact my exN anymore, and each his contact makes me sick. I want him to live happily his life and enjoy it fully as long as he is far away from me. Because i finally understood i am the most important person from us both. And i know you and your son should be most important. So do not give up please. Stay with us on this forum and read read read :) I hope it will also help you!
Jun 10 - 10AM (Reply to #15)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

so scared

Thank you ewa! It's nice to know that you feel better after a few months. I feel so consumed and crazed by this entire thing that I make myself sick. I lost my job because of this situation and all but one friend. I don't feel like explaining this situation to any family or anyone else because I don't think anyone understands unless they have been through this. It's crazy and I feel crazy! I feel so sad all the time and want to be strong. I'm sitting here today sick yet again and I'm not sleeping. I'm so tired all the time because I worry he's cheating on me now that he bought this big boat and is staying on it most of the time over an hour from where we live. I'm sick to my stomach all the time. He looks at other women and I feel jealous that they're getting his attention. I am worried about this weekend going there and always spend my last dollar on whatever he needs or asks of me.
Jun 10 - 12PM (Reply to #16)
ewa
ewa's picture

even

Even if he was the most handsome guy , with the biggest boat after what you wrote here on this forum i would not even look at him. He is looser, he is not a winner. Every woman he will meet will be unhappy with him just like you are now! They treat women only like an object, toy. I am sorry for each girl my exN is now with. Please get help, you and your son deserve something better. YOu are saying that you are worried, jealous, crazed, consumed...YOU CAN CHANGE IT and nobody else only you. Is better not to talk to people who do not understand us, you are right nobody who did not go through this will understand us. If you feel like you can not help yourself maybe you should get professional help. Do it for yourself and the most importantly do it for your son!
Jun 14 - 12PM (Reply to #20)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Neglected myself and family also......

Even if he was the most handsome guy , with the biggest boat Let me add on to that, with the biggest boat, sports cars, trucks, million dollar home, condo in another state, MINE HAD IT ALL oh ya and so very handsome. When we see all they have we think WOW the guy must do something right for how rich and successful he is and now I have to get rid of this person. Here is where we need to make a choice, the good choice and moral choice. I am sure mine thinks, "with the money I have I have power and I can get just about anything I want". I am sure he can too, he can pay high dollar top hookers, he can con more victims by letting them know he is quite wealthy in subtle ways. Victims dont want to let go of that dream come true, the perfect man who has everything, but wait does he have everything? What he has are only props. Money CAN buy many things and as much as I know it doesnt seem fair that he has all that he has (because he certainly doesnt deserve it) what he is missing he can NEVER buy, he will always be weird, and disordered. He will always have partners that dont trust him, that he cheats on, he will always have a hunger for sick deviated sexual pleasures and he will use his money to protect his image too and who he really is. Look at the gorgeous home his GF gets to have by living with him, but at such a high price too, she is betrayed and deceived by a wealthy con man who is nothing but a sex predator, she probably never wants to leave his side because in her heart she doesnt trust him. They may cover up their dirty deeds but a woman always has that GUT feeling she often will try to ignore. I would never exchange my life for hers, she can have the lying cheating psychopath and all the worrying and stress that comes with it. I would be scared to death to be with someone that wealthy that I didnt trust, let alone a psychopath You are so right Ewa "Every woman he will meet will be unhappy with him" in this case you CANT buy happiness, his women will have all the riches that could possibly have but they will NEVER have him, or his love.
Jun 15 - 12PM (Reply to #24)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

this is all true and I know it in my head

but to actually let go of the dream that he loves me too or even worse that he will move on without a thought and I will be sitting here devastated that I meant nothing for 2 years. I know I don't but the reality of it is so hurtful. I know I'm a very sensitive person and I don't like fights and I don't like conflict. It's hard for me to understand what kind of person he really is and how he cannot feel a thing is beyond my comprehension. I won't be seeing him for 2 weeks now as he told me his son wants alone time with him this weekend. Even that makes me feel a ping of jealousy only because that's even an affection I don't get. He gives me nothing. He doesn't tell me he misses me or is looking forward to seeing me. He doesn't hug or touch me. the only intimacy we have is sex. I know that's sad and wrong and yet here I am.
Jun 14 - 4PM (Reply to #21)
ewa
ewa's picture

Of course if he shares with this woman :)

Mine had twice as big salary as i had, and still i had to pay half rent, half food, half gas when we went for a trip. I had to pay even for my beer in restaurant. LOL this guy gave me everything...( he is a manager in big corporation, not very very reach as yours, but can afford to live over the standard). He also gave me not even half,maybe 1/15 part of normal sex life - we had sex like once a month ( i say sex as is hard to say in this case "make love"). And for all of it i gave him so much emotion, care and love. I am so STUPID! But well i was with him because i thought he loves me back. I am even more stupid that i thought so!
Jun 14 - 7PM (Reply to #22)
cynthia (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

EWA

I think mine is also a cheap bastard with his GF, cheap sexually too I am sure, as you well know how they tire of the same thing. She makes probably half what he does, yet he invested well when he owned apartment buildings then sold them, He never married, never supported a wife or family all his life now he just has a live in GF of so many years. You are NOT stupid, you were conned and used for his purpose that is WHAT THEY DO, that is their trade and stock and they are masters at it. Watch all your murder stories and crime solver mysteries ever notice how many of these killers they are after hide with a normal life, wife, family hell some even go to church like Barbara's psycho boy. I laugh at that one after he gets out of church he seeks out a hooker to pay, bless me father for I have sinned, what a joke. WE ALL loved them EWA and we all thought they loved us back dont you ever feel ashamed you loved with all your heart, good for you that is a testimony of what a wonderful human being you are. It is THEM that are STUPID and should hang their head in shame, they are sick EWA. Now Heal and give that love someday to someone who is worthy of it and not disordered. x0x0 Cynthia
Jun 15 - 12PM (Reply to #23)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

it's so hard to let go

My son speaks of his son all the time and they have become such good friends these past 2 years. They're both the same age and they see each other every other weekend and we all spend time on the boat now. I'm scared of how my son brings them up all the time and how that makes me feel really bad and want to call my N and miss him even more. My N has broken up with me multiple times and our sons have not seen each other during that time and it's very hard. I'm scared of how bad I will be and how I chase my N and beg for him back. Even though he shows me zero affection and doesn't even talk to me much anymore. I cannot get it in my head that things will only get worse. I feel so attached to him and feel so in love with him that I don't know what to do. My biggest thing is I do not want to picture him with another woman. I want to be that woman in his life. I'm miserable and I don't know what to do.
Jun 10 - 12PM (Reply to #17)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

funny you should say that

It's so funny you should say that about even if he were the most handsome man you wouldn't be with him. I worked in the same company with him for 3 years and never really noticed him. I remember seeing him in the fitness center and thought he just looked like an angry man. He is a complete anti-social person where I have always been the bubbly sociable one... until now. Now I don't want to go out in public really. I am afraid to talk to people for fear they will see I'm not well. I don't feel well anymore. I don't feel like myself. I keep thinking I'm losing it more and more by being so consumed with this man. He told me yesterday that he doesn't even 'like me' anymore because no will treat him the way I treat him. He is referring to my jealousy and insecurity. I scream on the inside and yet we're supposed to go to the boat for the weekend? I don't get why he wants to spend time with me if he doesn't even 'like' me. More importantly, I know how low I've gone now that I still want to be with a man that says that. I can't even cry.
Jun 11 - 8AM (Reply to #18)
ewa
ewa's picture

Liking

Can N even like? He is using this words to manipulate you. Mine did the similar. He said for example "I loved you so much yesterday, but today i do not love you because of your behavior. " Even this jealousy is not normal jealousy. Is some sick feeling they develop in use - insecurity fits here better. Maybe he wants to go with you for the boat also for the reason. Maybe he will make you feel good and then just simply kill this nice feeling in you by saying sth ugly. I don't remember holidays with my exN without problem. He would always make sth to make me feel bad and expecting me to suffer in silence. Just because he took me on holiday on his car/which i of course paid for myself/ he thought i should be grateful. I know my N now was left without any supply from the women side, he is out there hunting for a new girl. Yesterday i have fwd all emails from his email accounts back to his account in case he wanted to attempt the contact. It is already 5 days since he didn't contacted me. You DID NOT go low, you are trapped, he is using you and you do not see the way to run away. Trust me there is a way. He will never give you respect again. Just do it. Don't go for this trip and get rid of him. Don't wait, time is going, and we are not getting any younger. I will tell you. I left N and i am not sorry that i did it. After you leave him you will not feel good immediately , but you will feel good. You need to block him out of your life, because if you do not you will feel like this every day. And you do not want to feel like you feel now every day. Do you?
Jun 11 - 8AM (Reply to #19)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

predators

Oh Ns can 'like' they like you for LUNCH ~~~~~~~~~ Effective Coaching Specifically for Victims of Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
Jun 9 - 8AM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

sad 1

I can give you advice , here's what to do right now , do nothing , turn off your phone do not engage in any conversation with him . Silence is your weapon and only weapon right now .I know how hard it is to do nothing but the second you start you get some of your power back . How dare this creep treat you in such a way , mine did the exsact same thing n he would dump me the minute I stood up for myself so I know what you feel completely . Stay here and instead of texting him or calling him read all you can .you can do this ! You will learn about the brain washing that he has pulled on you , its sick and creepy , that is why you feel your boats are made of lead and you can't leave , I know how scarey this feels and how powerless and panic ridden you must feel , this was me three months ago , I could have writen your post three months ago , it takes a while to get your power back but the minute you go no contact it starts . Big love to you scoop x
Jun 10 - 8AM (Reply to #11)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

scared

I guess I'm more scared of myself than of him returning. I have tried so many times to be strong and leave him be and I end up missing him and begging for his return. I'm afraid to break it off with him because I know how I am. He will say 'fine' like I didn't matter and walk away and not say a word. I will break down and want him back immediately. This weekend I'm supposed to pick his son up and take both our sons to meet him at his boat. Our sons are he same age and they have now been friends for 2 years as well. I'm scared of so many things but most of all I'm afraid of how weak I've been. I constantly think of who he will get when I leave and how much happier he will be without me. I think of the 2 of them on his big boat for romantic sunsets. My imagination has always been my worst enemy and cognitive thinking doesn't really work well with me. I'm lost and scared and desperate.
Jun 9 - 9AM (Reply to #10)
ewa
ewa's picture

do what Scoop wrote please

and do remember after you go No Contact (NC) with him, he will try to contact you - this was proved on this side. There can be silence for a while when he is enjoying his new Narcissist Supply, but they usually loose or find the supply worse then we are and they keep coming back. Nobody believed when i went NC with my exN that he will contact me, including myself. But he did. Then he tried again. And i know he will keep trying..But is not what you should wait for.
Jun 9 - 7AM
enoughalready
enoughalready's picture

sad1

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I have felt the same way last year. The ONLY thing to do to end the misery you're feeling is by not contacting him at all. Completely break all ties w/ him. Block all his txts and calls. All he sees you is an object to use and control. Don't give him that satisfaction of knowing he has control over you. Going NC is difficult in the beginning but it's the best thing u can do for yourself. Please listen to everyone on this website, we've been where you are right now. It's a painful journey to go NC but it's a must for our own self-worth and dignity.
Jun 10 - 8AM (Reply to #2)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

It's me

I feel like it's me that's the crazy one here. He has ended it so many times and said 'no contact' to me. What have I done? I beg for his forgiveness and him back. I have done nothing wrong but I always take on the blame and beg for him to give me another chance. I feel so low and I'm afraid to break contact because of my reaction. I don't feel like myself anymore. I feel desperate to be with him and long for some sort of attention from him. Anything.... I cannot even remember the last time he has said anything nice to me and yet I'm so far in this I can't figure it out.
Jun 10 - 10PM (Reply to #3)
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

it's me

You are in the place where so many of us had wished we had done things differently. We know now that we could have saved ourselves so many years of damage and things we can never replace like the time lost with our children if we had just listened to our brains and not our heart. Do as Barbara has said and read read read, this site and Sandra Brown's site. He has already crossed a serious boundary. A worthwhile man who is in love does not use an insignificant argument as an excuse to f**k another woman. A decent man who loves you is as interested in making amends to the relationship as you are. The narcissist however was planning to orchestrate that insignificant argument all day or even all week because he had somewhere else and someone else he needed to get to. As i said in 'my story' i'm not sure i would've listened or accepted the truths here because i wanted that love that had been the center of my world for so long and i was willing to do whatever to fight for it, but there is no good outcome for you. I suffered so much in the early years over knowing he was with someone else even though i could never prove it well enough. My heart was in a constant battle with my brain that was telling me to get out for my own good. The fact was that my N was with others from the very beginning. While i was home with my young children he had his Tue/Thurs/Sun regular, his once or twice a week regular and who knows what else. He had kept them for years. He also had a half a dozen others that he just pursued and toyed with. I had access to his cell phone records, i saw the sick games he was playing all day with multiple other women. When i began to catch on to the fact that there were other men involved as well, he got a secret second phone. I can't say how much i wished i had listened to all my instincts and had my one big heartbreak early on and been done with it before he had wasted so much of my life and cost me so much. Instead i had continuous heartbreak and confusion. I was driven to the point of being suicidal because i thought i would never be free of his mental hold over me. When i was trying to end things and completely broken hearted he would never let up. While he was having all of his he made sure that there would be no one in my life. What man would ever want to get involved with someone who was being endlessly stalked by another man? He would call continuously at 2 in the morning and again at 7 am on the weekends to ward off anyone that might be with me. I felt that i could never escape him. The fact is that the truth is never that elusive in a real relationship. It is not necessary to spend years searching for it. Recognizing this in light of the intense love you feel is extremely difficult. Recognizing this in the intense pain you feel from the absence is extremely difficult. But the fact is that you can cut your losses early or you can suffer endlessly for years until you lose everything and it's all over anyway. I eventually became somewhat numb to the images of his being with someone else because he had been with so many others that it just wasn't as painful anymore. How sad is that? It is just as sad as going through years of thinking "well at least I'm number one amongst the crowd". Is this love? Not by any standards. Good luck to you. I feel for you if you continue to stay in the relationship. I spent many wasted years back and forth. I lost years with my children that can never be replaced trying to be in place for him so that he wouldn't be with someone else. It made no difference, he was always with someone else. Your man has already shown his true colors don't ignore it hoping for something different because it only gets much worse.

almostlydia

Jun 11 - 7AM (Reply to #4)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

thank you almostlydia

Thank you for sharing your story with me. It really does put a lot in perspective for me. I have feel he has such a hold on me that I will do what I can to break from it. I know he is seeing other women as well and I have even been thinking that at least I'm his girlfriend. I'm sick! I don't want to think that little of myself. I will try to fight for me but I know this is going to be a long battle. He is a complete jerk to me now and I'm still in it. I know I want out and need to listen to my brain more than my heart. This is so hard. Such a hard thing to do. I want to be loved by him so bad and want to feel his affection. I never get it and I have to try so hard to face the facts that I never will. I do everything and anything to please him and now he says he doesn't even 'like' me because of my insecurity and jealousy. I want to scream that he made me this way with his mind games and cheating. I know what is right and what is wrong and I will try to take steps to withdraw myself. It's just very hard to do. I don't feel strong. I thank you so much for sharing with me and I think I will reread your note a thousand times to try to get in my thick skull.
Jun 11 - 7AM (Reply to #5)
AnotherPath
AnotherPath's picture

Very sorry that you're going

Very sorry that you're going through this stage, and it is a stage, then you'll be onto the next stage. Healing takes time but in my opinion doesn't even start until you are NC. Your thoughts and feelings resonate with me as to how I was in the beginning of ending it, which was over 2 years ago. It's a hard road but the only road to go down is to starve him of your attention. This not only gets you to feel stronger about yourself but will also give you a better time with your child. I would recommend reading "Stalking the Soul by Marie-france Hirigoyen" you will learn about how they get into your head and erode who you are, and why they do this. My exN used to say "I just don't like you" and I couldn't understand why because I was so nice to him and did everything for him and took care of the kids while he went out God knows where and sat masturbating in front of his computer all night for years. Well their behaviour has nothing to do with you, me or any other woman on this board. It's who they are. The longer you stay in touch with him the shittier you will feel and you'll sink even lower than you are now. Don't go on the boat, cancel the trip and ignore him. Finish it by not replying once you have sent him a text stating that unfortunately you won't be able to go on the trip, leave it at that, you are in control of this now. He will try to get you back, but for all the wrong reasons. Once you take your power back and don't contact him, your road to recovery will start. Keep on the board you're going to need it as you go through all the stages.

Ending the dance

Jun 11 - 7AM (Reply to #6)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

I thank you for the reading

I thank you for the reading recommendation. I love to read and cannot get enough information in me regarding this it seems. I've read so many books and the one that I've read and reread over and over is 'the secret of overcoming verbal abuse' by Albert Ellis. I keep it next to my bed and read it every night. I will definitely look at this other book as well. I don't know why I want to go this weekend. I know my son wants to go but I guess I was thinking I could get all my clothes and everything off the boat too. I have our life jackets and my son's wet suit. I know it's probably an excuse to go but I don't want him having my things.
Jun 11 - 8AM (Reply to #7)
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

sad1

Aside from Lisa's book another good read is WHY DOES HE DO THAT by Lundy Bancroft. Helps you know you are not the problem nor are you going crazy.
Jun 14 - 10AM (Reply to #8)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Thank you Barbara! I'm going

Thank you Barbara! I'm going to look this up today and purchase. I need all the education on this I can get.