a note from my narc

24 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Feb 19 - 10AM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

a note from my narc

I received a long note from my narc. Very apologetic and telling me when he moved out he didn't have anywhere to go so quickly and his ex-wife was nice enough to take him in. SO he said he is going to remain there until April 1st when he can get his boat out in Indiana and he will move on that for the Summer. So bottom line is... He wanted to know if I would be his sex partner while he plays family man with his ex-wife and son. They're not having sex he said and he wants to base our relationship on that and see where it takes us.
I'm blown away at how this can even hurt but it does. To him I'm only worth sex when we were just engaged a few months ago. This is so backwards and wrong. It makes me feel very low like I'm not worth anything. His note hurts. I am not responding. He's such a jerk!
He actually said that he hopes I understand he's a good guy someday! What a jackass!!!

Feb 20 - 6AM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

Happy 1

coming onto this post i read all the wonderful comments before me and i am impressed at how far you have come in your journey to get rid of the exNarc, you are doing VERY WELL. these men are not in their right minds and that you can see, I think the majority of them really do use us as sextoys, rather than masturbate by themselves, it gives them their high that they so desperately seek, since inside they are just empty nut shells, nothing there.My suggestion do not respond and stay close to the board, this time for you too shall pass. it is a road of tiny steps to recovery and then you shall see the light.
Feb 20 - 12AM
Journey
Journey's picture

Happy1

After reading all the posts to your thread I have very little to add that would be different. What I can say though is how very happy I am to see you becoming more confident and sure of YOURSELF! It wasn't so long ago that your reaction to a message like this one would have been completely different. I'm proud of your growing strength. Today is a hard day, but don't worry about that. Like Scoop says, she's out 2 years NC and a good cry comes about every 4 days or so still. I completely relate to that. I had a big cry last night and on Monday (valentines), my whole day was one big cry. But the days between, not so bad and today I feel pretty good. There is no straight lines in recovery, so never be afraid to cry or get angry or feel down about yourself when you do. Both are healthy reactions to being narc-ed and necessary for healing. (hugs)!! Journey on...

Journey on...

Feb 20 - 3PM (Reply to #22)
safyre99
safyre99's picture

What a jerk he is

What a jerk your exN is! I know how much he's hurt you but please don't let him make you feel you're not worth anything. You're a wonderful person and your exN is the one who isn't worth anything. He's scum of the earth! I'm so glad you're not going to respond to him. Because that's what he's waiting for... your reaction and your response. We're all here for you Happy!! Big hugs!
Feb 19 - 11PM
CougarBabe7
CougarBabe7's picture

Typical Narc Behavior

Happy1, I'm so proud of you for not responding to that letter! My Narc wanted the same arrangement from me after we broke up - NSA sex. I guess he wanted this because it was the only source of Narc supply that he could get from me anymore; because upon breaking things off with him, I told him that I could see he was a player, had a "fake" ego and was incapable of having a genuine give-and-take relationship. Lisa's book helped me recognize him as a Narc early on - less than 2 weeks, and for this I will be eternally grateful to her. Anyway, I really just wanted to say that this is typical Narc behavior, in my humble opinion. He wants the sex because he's having a difficult time "going cold turkey" from the Narc supply he was getting from you; and this is the lame way he is attempting to get just a little of it back. Good for you for recognizing it as such & ignoring the letter. You rock girl!
Feb 19 - 3PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Happy

He's more than a jackass! Tell him To try Mr. Lefty! Idealk
Feb 19 - 9PM (Reply to #19)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

ideal

He's definitely a turd!! He's gunk on the bottom of my shoe. I feel a little better tonight and thank you Ideal and everyone for reminding me he's an idiot!!
Feb 19 - 2PM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Oh good god is youre narc

Oh good god is youre narc still alive ? i swear to god and i know i have said it before but please give me his number and let me talk to him .. go on .. you know you want to lol i swear youre narc is the biggest parrisite i have ever had the displeasure to hear about . He has absolutly no idea what he has put you through has he , it just gose to show how shallow they run and naturaly assume everyone else is as shallow as them ..i want to slap his smug face in .. and whats that all about he had no where to go ? what a pile of bollocks , the mans a scientist .. what is he on minimum wage or something ? my arse ..Lord im fired up tonight ... bring it on !
Feb 19 - 3PM (Reply to #17)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

I love you scoop

I needed to hear that! Thank you! I've been staying close to this site all day and feeling so bad about myself. I hate my narc and agree he has money, but he's the cheapest man I know so I know he's probably living there for free. Your words have helped me. I'm so teary today I'm just having a bad moment. I would love to give you his number so you could straighten him out. haha! He needs a good slap! I'm trying to snap out of this funk today and not let him get to me. I truly hate my narc!! Thank you! Happy
Feb 19 - 12PM
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

Happy - I am smiling, I am so

Happy - I am smiling, I am so happy for you! You saw through his BS and realized what he was. You ARE worth so much more than that! And I am so, so proud of you for maintaining your self respect and dignity and not giving him the satisfaction of a response. A note like that doesn't deserve a response. You already know this..but if he truly cared about you and wanted to make a life with you, he would figure out a way to live with ANYONE other than his ex-wife. He would live on the streets to show that he wanted you back. But he is lazy and this was easy and he is committed/loyal to no one but himself. I am proud of you for not giving in and letting him pick and choose the parts of you that he wants and not pick and choose the whole you. That is what drove me crazy about my narc. Although he led me to believe he wanted the WHOLE me, his soulmate, it boiled down to him picking and choosing the parts of me that he wanted and I had to walk away; because it causes too much pain to realize they really don't want the WHOLE YOU. We are Barbies that they play with when they feel like it, on their terms. Hang in there girl. I was so happy to see how far you have come and that you have self respect! xoxoxxo
Feb 19 - 12PM
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

What a jerk! That note makes

What a jerk! That note makes me want to both vomit and punch your xn in the face. In all honesty, I would systematically block him from every possible way of contacting me so that I never had to hear from him again. I would give him absolutely no response to his note. Yes, I know that is very hard to do because, if I were in your shoes, I would have the almost uncontrollable desire to fire back at him with, "If you want sex, then go screw yourself." However, that would only give the narc supply. I really feel for you about him doing this to you. You're worth so much more than him. Hugs.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Feb 19 - 11AM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

there you are happy girl!

Ya know happy you almost have to pity them because honestly he probably has no glue as to why that would be offensive to you. My guess is he thinks hes being quite nice and that you should take that as a compliment. He thinks that he is showing you that he wants you. There minds just dont process information, thoughts,feelings or emotions the same way ours does so I think alot of times that cant figure why we are not elated to hear something like that. Good for you on not responding. You see he keeps trying different angles and tactics to see which one might work its actually desperation on his part. Hey Narc boy Ummmmm how bout you sell your f ing boat so you could maybe afford somewhere to live.
Feb 19 - 10AM
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

Happy

That note makes me want to scream and throw stuff!!! Mine wants the same thing from me. He wants to play house with the new GF but still use me as a sex toy! Idiots! Perverted idiots! Please don't respond! You know it will just makes things worse! I responded and he degraded me and used me and still keeps coming back trying again. Just ignore him. He'll find somebody else to entertain him if the ex won't have sex with him. I'd bet a million dollars the ex gives in. He's a charmer and knows which buttons to push with her too. You're better than this and you have come so far. Ignore the idiot! Hugs to you! Sara
Feb 19 - 11AM (Reply to #2)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

sara smile

Thanks! I guess it makes me feel bad today because it makes me feel like I'm not worth anything I guess. Just sex. I need to get my anger back quick. I won't respond but it hurts. Thanks! Happy
Feb 19 - 11AM (Reply to #3)
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

Happy

Don't let it make you feel bad! Get pissed! Get mad! You know you are worth more than just sex! In his warped, sick, twisted mind NOBODY is worth more than just sex. Everybody has a purpose in a Narcs mind. I was the sex toy and cheerleader! Get your head back on straight and try to forget about it. He's a heartless idiot! You are a wonderful caring person and he has no soul! He's a sad empty shell running around trying to get what he can from anybody. Get mad Happy! Ignore him and bruise his enormous ego! Sara
Feb 19 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

sara-smile

I'm very sad right now but I hope to get my anger back. These emotional roller coasters suck! I do know for sure that he won't get a response and he will be ignored. He is a jerk! He can go get sex someplace else. I'm not a prostitute. Thanks for your support Sara... My days have been getting so much better. God these narcs suck!!
Feb 19 - 12PM (Reply to #8)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Happy

Oh Happy. I am so sorry he did this, but you know what, it just goes to show how important it is that you move on. This man is absolutely insane....so out of touch with reality that it's scary. The ladies are right, he does think he is being nice. That is how delusional they are. He thinks by offering his body to you for sex that you might feel honored. Seriously, this is how warped their thinking is. Isn't it sick? Sick, but like I said, further proof that you are sooo much better off on your own! You deserve sooo much more than that. You deserve so much more than to be with a crazy-man! Narcissists are permanently disordered. They are not people we want to build a future or family with and we must remember when we get out of a relationship with someone like this, it's like we dodged a bullet! The pain is excruciating. I'm not minimizing that, Happy. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling right now and I just want to give you a huge hug. Just remember he is not sane. Stay strong and let me know if you want to get together to grab coffee or a drink. I am here for you. This too shall pass, my friend. xoxo
Feb 19 - 1PM (Reply to #9)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

Thanks guys! I haven't cried

Thanks guys! I haven't cried in quite a while and today has made me cry. I will continue my pathbof recovery. The narcs really don't ever eantbus to move on or be happy without them. I'm never going back to mine. Ever! Just a hard day. Thank you guys for supporting me today. Hugs
Feb 19 - 3PM (Reply to #10)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Happy

Let it all out, Happy. Cry, scream, hit a pillow if you need. This is painful. Honor your feelings. Do not avoid them. If you do, you will remain stuck. Look at it this way - he finally gave you the proof you need that he is sick out of his mind and you are so much better off without him, right? Look at today as the day of "final awakening" and allow yourself to grieve. It is critical for you to confront the trauma you experienced and process the emotions that are a direct result of the pain you endured. We cannot repress our feelings and we must confront what happened to us. If we do not, we will remain stuck in a state of pain. "THERE IS NO COMING TO CONSCIOUSNESS WITHOUT PAIN." ~Carl Jung I spent many years in this state, which I refer to as my “dark period.” Eckhart Tolle refers to this state of being as the “pain body.” In his groundbreaking book, The Power of Now, he explains how the pain body is actually afraid of the light of consciousness. Its survival is dependent on your unconscious fear of facing the pain that lives in you. In other words, you will remain in a state of pain, darkness or unhappiness as long as you continue to lie to yourself and deny your reality. Resistance is what keeps us stuck in the unconscious realm. Tolle believes the more you resist the present moment, the more pain you create within yourself. In my opinion, the only true path to enlightenment is to drop all inner resistance and be honest with ourselves. We must allow ourselves to feel our feelings and not be ashamed. When you give a feeling full expression, it diminishes its power and brings about a transformation. Once you acknowledge and express the feeling, it causes the feeling to subside, as it can’t go on forever. We must not be afraid to cry. It’s an emotional release, which is good for us. Poets have known this for years: “Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.” ~ Charles Dickens “Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it." ~Albert Smith “To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” ~William Shakespeare Science is now confirming this for us (which I'll write about in a blog post) as well. You can get through today, Happy. We are here for you. Please allow yourself to cry, grieve and get angry today. Once you process these feelings, you will begin to see the light and move away from the darkness.
Feb 19 - 4PM (Reply to #11)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Amen lisa , its so true , the

Amen lisa , its so true , the days when i have the least cog dis and pain are the days i have lived in the "now" . Sometimes when i cry it is a shallow cry like turing the tap on for a second then switching it off but the days when i cry from the soul are the days i know somthing has shifted in me . I seem to be in a cycle of every 4 days i have a bloody good cry . Im well over a year nc and i do remember what it was like to cry every hour on the hour . I would be walking in the supermarket and there where the tears , i would be at work and off i would go to the ladys room to let out that silent cry you have to do at work and as for driving the car well its a miracle i didnt crash as for a good 6 months i just saw the road through sunglasses and tears . Let it out when it comes , every tear is healing you although at the begining it feels like bucket loads its the only way to get the poison out that the narc left .xxx
Feb 19 - 11PM (Reply to #12)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Scoop

Yes, I love this: "Let it out when it comes , every tear is healing you although at the begining it feels like bucket loads its the only way to get the poison out that the narc left." This is great advice, Scoop! xoxo
Feb 19 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

Happy

Did he mail this letter to you? Do you have a way to reseal the envelope like it was never opened, stick it in your mailbox with "return to sender"? Wouldn't it be fun if his exwife opened the mail that day? And then do you have a way to burn everything that you have that came from him? It seems that a total purging is in order!
Feb 19 - 3PM (Reply to #6)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

loveofmylife

Great suggestions! I definitely believe discarding, throwing away and burning any reminders of an ex is very therapeutic and research has proven this to be a valid healing ritual.
Feb 19 - 9PM (Reply to #7)
Happy1
Happy1's picture

therapeutic

Is slashing tires? haha! just kidding....