a note from my narc

Let it all out, Happy. Cry, scream, hit a pillow if you need. This is painful. Honor your feelings. Do not avoid them. If you do, you will remain stuck. Look at it this way - he finally gave you the proof you need that he is sick out of his mind and you are so much better off without him, right? Look at today as the day of "final awakening" and allow yourself to grieve. It is critical for you to confront the trauma you experienced and process the emotions that are a direct result of the pain you endured. We cannot repress our feelings and we must confront what happened to us. If we do not, we will remain stuck in a state of pain. "THERE IS NO COMING TO CONSCIOUSNESS WITHOUT PAIN." ~Carl Jung I spent many years in this state, which I refer to as my “dark period.” Eckhart Tolle refers to this state of being as the “pain body.” In his groundbreaking book, The Power of Now, he explains how the pain body is actually afraid of the light of consciousness. Its survival is dependent on your unconscious fear of facing the pain that lives in you. In other words, you will remain in a state of pain, darkness or unhappiness as long as you continue to lie to yourself and deny your reality. Resistance is what keeps us stuck in the unconscious realm. Tolle believes the more you resist the present moment, the more pain you create within yourself. In my opinion, the only true path to enlightenment is to drop all inner resistance and be honest with ourselves. We must allow ourselves to feel our feelings and not be ashamed. When you give a feeling full expression, it diminishes its power and brings about a transformation. Once you acknowledge and express the feeling, it causes the feeling to subside, as it can’t go on forever. We must not be afraid to cry. It’s an emotional release, which is good for us. Poets have known this for years: “Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts.” ~ Charles Dickens “Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it." ~Albert Smith “To weep is to make less the depth of grief.” ~William Shakespeare Science is now confirming this for us (which I'll write about in a blog post) as well. You can get through today, Happy. We are here for you. Please allow yourself to cry, grieve and get angry today. Once you process these feelings, you will begin to see the light and move away from the darkness.