Addicted to Sex

My situation had been the same as yours. Friendship and care with my husband, mind-blowing sex with the N. Finding myself addicted to a man I'd never have wanted as a partner I realized I'd been sexually addicted to a few men before. Men I liked but did not actually love. I realised I was a sex addict and joined a support group. I cannot begin to tell you what difference it made. I found it impossible to connect sex and love, total compartimentalization. It has a lot to do with childhood issues. I had not been sexually abused, but it had come close and emotional incest causes exactly those symptoms. It may be interesting for you to read Robert Burney. Therapists are helpful with the background work, but for me the support group had been the turning point. Sex addiction is NOT always, as many think, about promiscuity. I worked with the newcomers in the group when I was much better, I have seen lives that had been ruined. If I can be of any help to you feel free to contact me.

it was an intense mental connection as well as physical but now I associate sex and intimacy with abondonment - I have not wanted to have sex with anyone else but him but terrified of having it again with him due to PTSD. So I am still screwed up. Maybe one good kisser will solve problem but have not let anyone even hold my hsnd

Make an effort to discuss this issue with your therapist for sure. The man that loves you and has stood by your side deserves it, as do you. He can be your best friend and your lover. Now, if he feels more like your brother to you, that would be a whole other ball of wax. Sex therapy can be ver productive for both of you. Although the sex with the narc was out of this world for you, it wasn't for him..........and it should be for both parties. Good luck!