He asked for a final dinner

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#1 May 28 - 8PM

Epiphany

He asked for a final dinner

Its been three months and 5 nights ago he called. I saw the number on my phone and I just sat gripped by fear and could not answer. He left a message and texted that he'd like to return my property and take me out to dinner. He said he wanted me to be able move on with my life and be happy. Ironic, the bastard never really took me out for much of anything in 3 years, including dinner. The final D&D he took everything and left me penniless and facing a serious health issue alone. I have brutally texted and emailed him about his lack of feelings for how he left me, the money and lack of soul he has. I have mixed feelings about meeting with my monster. He even called again the other night and I actually answered only to be told how mean and hurtful I am. He clearly has no ownership for all he did to me. I spent the entire next day questioning who I am, again. Yes I am a horrible person like he says I am. I'll admit that I threw a million words at him trying to make him accountable and perhaps that is bad behavior but I know I'm not a bad person. This man endlessly called me a whore, took everything I had, displaced me from my home to where I had to sleep in my car, took every penny to my name, raped me body, mind and soul and went to a party. The sickening stories of what I've survived are almost endless but I will have dinner with him. I will sit there like a cold, heartless bitch and let him try to do what? Apologize? Do we even think he'll be apologizing? He doesnt miss an opportunity to tell me how mean my words are and how awful that makes me. Can I sit through a meal without scratching his eyes out? Will he just continue to re-victimize me and make me feel small to ease whatever is bothering him? I know we think they have no feelings but I think he's having a feeling about being exposed and that is why he's asking for this meeting. He clearly has no idea who I've become since he left me laying on the floor. I no longer believe lies and am bowled over by bullshit. BTW, I'm ordering the most expensive thing on the menu and plan to eat none of it.

#2 Jun 2 - 7PM

Epiphany

If you don't scroll down enough but I need to say this:

I posted this to Empath today after reading the 5 ways I've violated the forum guidelines. Perhaps and I need to apologize for those I've offended. If it gets me removed from here then so be it. I have found the most sense of real here I've ever known. When I did not understand what happened to me I found this place. I found friends, sisters, hope and support. I will be grateful everyday. I was also beat into submission and somehow found legs. My experience was trampled on. I found the posts offensive, unsupportive, dismissive and harsh. I will never be a doormat again. The loving people here truly changed my life and I will never forget that. But I will not now or ever be told what I'm feeling or how to do it right. Advice can be delivered without the strong arm. I learned that here. There just is no right. I'm neither a failure or a fuck up and I felt unheard, devalued and aggressed. Yep, today I do feel the need for the last word. My bad. Hugs to those who gave me strength and hope. I believe this deserves it's place at the top. This was my post: Again, who are you? SO righteous, so exact, so intelligent about this process. You just need to perfect and right. Because you can articulate an intelligent statement and throw out dictionary definitions does not make me respect you, in any way. I'm real and I know and love that about me. I'm also a software engineer, 20 years and was duped by a psychopath. Neither smart, intelligent or right in life's perception. Because bad things do not happen to good people. You can perfect your statements and I'm guessing you check them 10 times before you even post but on this board but when I smell crap, I say crap. The very second you told me I'd be on the floor for days, told me you cared zero about me. People here really do care, with compassion about others. When you added "no support for me here" you compiled your level of no capacity for understanding. The fact you keep thrusting your point here speaks volumes in itself. If you're hurting because of what you've suffered I feel bad for you. But when you're a hammer (you) the whole world looks like a nail. Only the people here know and understand how difficult survival is. Perhaps you should wiki some new words or take a moment to be honest with yourself. Here I do not feel the need to be right or perfect. Here is where I got to be broken and supported, flawed and human. Here is where loving, amazing people told me I was ok and literally saved my life. YOU do not get to take that from me.

#3 Jun 2 - 11PM (Reply to #65)

ifinallygotit

totally agree with you Epiphany

The comments you received were unsupportive, out of line, preachy, domineering and controlling - the rejection statements about you were just plain nasty and defensive. But hey, its a public forum - Intelligence does not equate with good boundaries or good mental health...most people in the helping fields in general have unexamined issues of power and control. I say good for you for standing up for yourself. I would have been appalled to have someone direct those harsh comments towards me -i thought they were the worst I have seen on this board. I had such bad PTSD when I joined this winter, those types of comments would have just freaked me all the way out they were so over the top. I am making progress slowly - my way. I had no back bone with ex N. I am growing one now. Your comments help me remember to not allow anyone to disrespect me. You are not the person who deserves to be "checked" in my opinion. I am not PMing you because I feel you were publicly attacked on here! So I publicly support you! Tell it! I don't have the courage you have but i do know right from wrong...

#4 Jun 2 - 3PM

Epiphany

It's over and I feel great

Wow, thanks to everyone who supported me in this even if you couldnt see my logic. I know me and the thing about this process that makes it so powerful is So I did it! Dinner with the X. Days of feeling unsure then sure and he emailed me Tuesday and said he wasnt going to have a lot of time but would on Wednesday. I told him I wasnt going to have a meal and get the brush off that the point was to have an honest conversation. He tried to hug me when we first met - NOT happening. I looked amazing, I smelled amazing, I was calm, articulate, concise, honest, strong (although I did shed a few tears about certain topics). I did not waiver on anything. I admitted to behaving badly myself, ie text message terrorizing and spamming of emails but I explained to him that I have NEVER been treated so horrible by anyone my whole life. I'd never been devalued and treated like a kleenex so quickly by someone who claimed to love me. I also explained to him what the silent treatment does to someone and how abusive that tactic is. I got it out all and I do mean all of it. He talked very little of himself but I do remember looking at him and saying "that's because you're a narcissist." He said NOTHING to that. The man that sat before me was, I swear, a sad, solemn, broken person. I wonder if they get tired of playing their own game? Do you think it's exhausting to them because he looked hailed. I will give him props, he took it well and I think because it was such a calm conversation that made it easier for both parties. I held nothing back, I asked every question that I needed an answer about, I processed every response even if it was not what I wanted to hear. I saw a side of him I'd never seen. An honest one. I made mention of his "big talking" and not listening or even acknowledging when I had a thought or feeling. What he said blew me away. He said "I know I do that. I think I do talk big because I feel pretty small". I didnt beat him with accountability. I did a lot of "how would that make you feel if someone did that to you?" I said "I feel" and not "you make me feel". I do know me. I know that my heart is what makes me beautiful. I know he did not deserve my forgiveness but I needed that for me. The end result was I gave him all his crap back. Told him I hoped someday he would believe in himself and to please not do to another what he did to me. That if ever wonders how his actions might feel to another to just ask himself "how would I feel if someone did that to me?" We both said we were sorry. I was and am proud of myself. Although an emotional evening, I felt anger walk out the back door and peace walk in the front door. Million lbs of crap on my shoulders just gone. I understand this situation is not ideal for everyone but if you know yourself and your narc, the level of your abuse, your education about their disease and what you need to move forward then I say trust yourself. I've been in so much pain for so long about what I suffered at his hands. I didnt have to scream it in a text or an email but look him in the face and tell him HOW he made me feel. The point is not if he heard me it's that I got to confront my abuser. I'll never regret it. I even wished him well and honestly felt sorry for him. For he will never know love and that's sad. I guess it took recognizing my pain and forgiving him to realize what a beautiful person I am. That's almost the last thing I said to him. "I needed this to heal so I can learn to be the person I used to be and want to be again. I don't care if you like me or not, I NEED to like me again." There werent doors left open or unfinished business. It was done. Unfinished business does not go away, it keeps resurfacing until it's faced and dealt with. I feel that's what I did. I honored myself and what I felt like I needed. I didnt need his words for my validation. I found a way by doing this to give that to myself. And you'll never believe this. The dinner he was taking me out to, was horrible, had to be sent back twice and the restaurant picked up the entire ticket! NOW COME ON. I was really looking forward to watching him pay for something for a change. Oh well!

#5 Jun 3 - 4AM (Reply to #63)

Lobo555

Good for you

"Although an emotional evening, I felt anger walk out the back door and peace walk in the front door." Love this. I had a last meetup with CharlieSheenWinning before I found this board. So glad I got to tell him "It's old and I don't want to do this anymore. I give up on you. I'm done." Still hurting that he up and married some stranger 3 weeks later, but oh well! :):):) I am truthfully glad I got to have my say -- for myself. Not because I thought he would absorb any of it in his little Winning Brain. I feel glad that *I* got to close the door on *my* terms. Relieved and happy for you -- supportive of you. {{{{hugs}}}}

#6 Jun 2 - 5PM (Reply to #62)

Hunter

Im glad you got closure. He

Im glad you got closure. He is going to rage in a few days. Just a hunch. But I was wrong about you having dinner s maybe im wrong about this too, Hunter

#7 Jun 2 - 4PM (Reply to #58)

onwithmylife

epiphany

I am VERY happy for you that things went well and you got the closure you sought. I will give your narc credit on one thing, agreeing to meet with you, mine would NEVER do that, I asked him for that very thing in a postcard to him, he never answered back, so in that respect YOU are fortunate.

#8 Jun 2 - 6PM (Reply to #61)

Monica

Onwithmylife...mine was going to back out fromy my face to face

HE wanted the face to face. Asked for it constantly. I would agree then he would refuse to set a time and place. He finally admitted to me that he knew that, if I gave him the face to face, I would be able to walk away and close the door and he didn't want that. The last time he asked for a face to face, he gave me a time and date and tried to make excuses 2 hours before. All LIES. I basically threatened him into it and he showed up. He was right! The face to face was what I needed to finally walk away, free of him. I looked into his dark, empty eyes, listened to his lies, lies, lies and was able to walk away and leave him standing there, all affection for him GONE. Maybe some of them know that a final face to face is what will allow us to see, finally, exactly what they are...EVIL. After he startd the D&D and I walked away from him, I did not see him at all until the final face to face. For me, it was what I needed to see him fully for what he truly was...evil and empty. I was able to walk away. Now I feel like vomitting every time I even think of things I did with him.

#9 Jun 2 - 6PM (Reply to #59)

Epiphany

He's the one who asked

I didnt ask for the dinner. He literally asked to "return my stuff and take me to dinner." I made the rules though. His initial Tuesday turned out to be he wouldnt have a lot of time so I said no. After 3 years of hell I know what I deserved. I asked him why he was really there. Oh to return my $200 putter, why? Because he thought I really wanted it back. I called bullshit on everything I did not believe and I told him to be honest. I returned everything of his in my possession for I did not want even one open door. Not one reason to contact. Oh I wanted to give his prized hockey card collection to him in shreds or wipe my ass with his clothes but I didnt. I'm so damned sick of not feeling like an adult. What happened last night came from a place of the person I used to be. A grown up. An adult woman and not some crazy, angry person that he turned me into. I was. I was the classy, respectful, good woman I used to know. He emailed this morning and thanked me. I'm no longer charmed by the snake or believe lies. I stand on my merit. Good things happen to good people. I walked away no longer wishing him ill will or caring about his important life. I took back me and that's what I needed to do. FYI Hunter - He's on some fishing trip for days so I don't expect rage right away, if ever. Man vs. Wilderness, maybe he'll get eaten by a great white. I do not know. Nor do I care. He finally got to see that he cannot stand on my back to look taller and I'm guessing he gives up the fight. If not, it's his problem, not mine. I took back what I needed. They're NEVER going to give it to us, sometimes you just have to take it.

#10 Jun 2 - 8PM (Reply to #60)

wacaet

I'm glad it went so well for

I'm glad it went so well for you.

#11 Jun 2 - 8AM

BadaBing

Ephiphany

good luck!

#12 Jun 1 - 5PM

Monica

Update on Epiphany....

Epiphany is going tonight...they rescheduled from tomorrow night. She is doing great and is positive and believes she is doing the right thing. On a personal note, I also had a final "face to face" with my xN and that is what ultimately made me realize that I had no idea what I ever saw in him in the first place. I had not seen him since the D&D and it was months before I saw him. He tried to get out of it and I would not let him. He looked awful. Same lies. Same smirk. Same word salad. But, for the first time, I was truly able to look him in the eyes...those evil, lying, slanty eyes...and see him for what he truly was...a total LOSER. And when I walked away, I knew then that I was totally over him. I stood up to the bastard for the first time in over 4 years and it felt great. I no longer hurt after seeing him again, no longer felt that pull. All I saw was a pathetic, lying 10 year old, a man 7 years my junior who was bald and overweight and sweaty and dressed badly and looking older than me. It was what I needed to move on. I know most of you do not advocate this. Many of you have broken NC, allowed texts, emails, meetings before you finally "got it" and moved on. My only prayer is that we all "get it" and move on as quickly as possible. My thoughts and prayers will be with Epiphany tonight. She is a very strong and determined lady.

#13 Jun 2 - 8AM (Reply to #55)

Lobo555

What happened?

My thoughts and prayers were with her, too -- and I'm sure everyone who read her post wished her well. What happened? Is she okay? I hope she got some closure and can now do a total nc.

#14 Jun 2 - 6AM (Reply to #54)

Used

meeting

I am just curious who changed the meeting time... i hope it wasent him....

#15 Jun 1 - 4PM

Done sourcing

I'm done

Me speaking on phone to a supportive friend "I'm done, I'm done, I'm really done" N Calls... I tell friend quickly I'll call them back so I can answer the N call. then I get the shit kicked out of me again, sometimes in 2 minutes, sometimes it takes weeks or months. WE AIN'T DONE TIL WERE DONE While we are still obsessed and addicted (thats what we are btw) nc is the only way to recover. We start nc because we have too, and at some point when the obsession and addiction has abated we continue nc because we want to! Chris

#16 Jun 1 - 3PM

jackguy

Has anyone heard how

Epiphany got on or if she went to dinner as she was planning?

#17 Jun 1 - 4PM (Reply to #51)

Alibi_10

Jackguy

I have been wondering this too - any news anyone?

#18 May 31 - 1PM

Susan32

Take advantage of him...

I don't know if he's gone as far to make reservations. Has he made preparations for it? He may see it as a sure thing for NS. Get him excited, make him think you're weak in the knees for him... MAKE him think you're weak, but YOU hold all the cards. Have him make the preparations, get him fired up thinking of all the NS he'll get... then do NOT show up. Showing up would only hurt you&he'll take advantage of you. YOU are the one who can call the shots now. He knows what he wants, you know what he wants... act like you're going to give him what he wants... then DON'T. Dangle the carrot;DON'T give the carrot! Let him wait there in the restaurant, alone, without any explanations. Here's your opportunity to humiliate him in front of strangers. Let them bring the bread&the water... he'll be like a prisoner that way.

#19 Jun 1 - 4PM (Reply to #48)

SoaperGirl

You don't have to be a Narc to beat a Narc

I love Susan32's idea. Great thinking. True. C'mon people! Unlike narcs we are whole human beings, we think and go deep were narcs fear to tread. We have all our faculties...and well, I can't speak for anyone else, but I do know I have a high level of intelligence. I've already beaten my Narc, busted his chops good in fact! The basturd never laid a hand on me. Easy really, I think like a normal person..when I was setting my narc up, I treated it like playing a chess game with him...studying up on narc traits and habits, their behavior patterns, what was legal and not,and how he was likely to behave under certain conditions. I put my game plan into action and he lost big time! Did my strategy work? Oh yeah and then some! hahaha. As Susan32 said: "Dangle the carrot; DON'T give the carrot!"

#20 Jun 2 - 7PM (Reply to #49)

Susan32

Dangle the carrot...

Give the celery!!! I can't stand celery. Peanut butter&raisins do NOT make it better. Believe me, when the senior skit ridiculed the ex-Psych prof (I have a few minor quibbles- the young man at the time should've mimicked his beret-wearing, "War and Peace" reading as well as the way he walked as if he had a stick up his butt)... he went RUNNING out. He couldn't even bear THAT. I'm betting that whenever the senior skit happens, he stays at home with Mom&Dad... because they do live with him. Not kidding.

#21 May 31 - 10AM

Steph

Oh, hun, I reaaaaallly hope

Oh, hun, I reaaaaallly hope you don't go! He has NO feelings for you or anyone! He is USING you to serve a purpose for himself. That is all this dinner is about. You can order the "most expensive" dinner on the menu as you say...BUT...I highly doubt this is going to really make you feel great or better or give you closure or whatever it is you are hoping to gain from this. This dinner is NOT going to be an event that is in YOUR best interest. Please, for your own sanity, DON'T DO IT!

#22 May 31 - 10AM (Reply to #46)

Susan32

Yeah, it's not going to help

Instead of ordering the most expensive dinner on the menu, just book it for a party of two- say you'll go-- and NOT show up. Believe me, if the ex-Psych prof had wanted a "last supper" I would've eagerly said YES, promised it, sobbed longingly... then pull the NO-SHOW. And no explanations afterwards if asked. The N is NOT entitled to a last supper. What he is entitled to, however, is being stood up&played for a fool. It's time to play him and WIN!!!! Read "Abusing the Gullible Narcissist." Ns are GULLIBLE. They lie, assuming people don't lie to them. Promise him the forbidden fruit that is attractive to the eye, tell him it will make him like God, and no he will not die... and DO NOT SHOW. Play with his gullibility.

#23 May 31 - 10AM

Susan32

Don't show up!

Tell him YES, you will do it. Tell him how excited&longing you are to do it. Sobbing will probably help- Ns/Ps love women crying over them. Get him wanting&pining... Get his hopes up. Promise him, lavishing him with love. But PLEASE... do NOT show up. Do NOT give him any explanations (if he asks) Make him WANT to come... make him WANT the injection of NS... then do something else. Find a good way to spend the evening. ON YOURSELF. Watch a movie. Hang out with friends. On the very night you promised to be with him... do it with someone who deserves you... namely YOU.

#24 May 31 - 9AM

Hunter

Epiphany

I've just caught up with this thread! Sounds like you are going no matter what! Have at it! You will very much regret this but do what you must do! You Will not win, they have no soul, no feeling! You have Been NC for three months, You are taking yourself back to ground zero! Good Luck Hunter

#25 May 29 - 8PM

ifinallygotit

hmm

I totally understand the desire for the meeting, BUT, if you have not desire to get back together with him, THEN I think it is way too soon. I barely knew what end was up or understood half of what happened to me after 3 months. I think it takes awhile to absorb all this info and break through our own denial systems (I did not let myself realize how BAD it really was o blocked it out). I am just starting to understand all the odd secretivee behavior and what was really going on and what words really meant. At first I wanted more than anything to meet up with ex N for closure - now I feel much to raw to be in his presence and i think it would traumatize me even though he is "gentle" and quiet in nature (if you call abandoning someone after over 10 years without a word gentle). I think it is a personal decision as we are all at different phases of our recovery. I would just re-examine your motives before going - why the need to see him in person versus a letter or phone call... I just know how greatly my emotions have flip flopped from day to day as I have tried to recover from the shock of losing him, and more so, the long term abuse, which I did not even acknowledge was happening to me. I say good luck and just be honest with your self. Even though I do not want my N back or to ever live like that again, we had such a powerful attraction the whole 10 years, I really would not feel safe being in his sphere... Plus, just knowing he doesn't really care what happens to me as a fellow human being... Maybe it would be entertaining for him to see if he could seduce me, but mine is such a baby boy and coward, I think the N injury he suffered (knowing he did something very bad when he ran off to to play...) and desire to avoid facing that responsibility out weighs any desire to try to game me - I am truly dead road kill I believe. Yours may want to play some more...I do hope hope the best for you. This stuff is psychologically dangerous for most of us, but maybe you can deal with it...take care.

#26 May 29 - 4PM

findingmeagain

Final dinner after 3months?

#27 May 29 - 7PM (Reply to #37)

empath

Exactly.

Three months is plenty of time for the N. to set up a devastating D&D. I would expect him to have his fiancee sitting at the table with him, or something awful like that. Going back after going NC, especially after three months of NC, no matter what the person who accepts the offer may "think" it demonstrates, is going to be interpreted by an N. as weakness, lack of self-respect, inability to break free and stay away, and gives the N. the upper hand no matter what. You do not beat an N. at their own game, you can only get free of them by going NC and staying NC, and you definitely cannot "win" by doing anything that places you back in their presence. In keeping yourself safe from the N abuse, it is important to remember that Ns don't think like we do...and that we don't think like they do. They can easily think of evil deeds that we could never even comprehend. This "one last time" routine is a classic N. trap, and anyone who voluntarily walks into it is risking their well-being.

#28 May 30 - 5PM (Reply to #39)

Epiphany

Who are you?

Truly. You think my private message to you bizzare? You've been here one week, 5 days. Sorry one week here is usually messages of 'I'm on the floor and asking for advice how to stand up and walk because my world is upside down.' Yet, you, none of that. You're the communal authority about right vs. wrong??? You're right and I'm wrong. He does not have the capacity to plan anything elaborate. I know this. To you, how I'm failing and will fail because of my choice. So I don't see your suffering because your need to be right blinds me. Here I've found acceptance, understanding, real. This is not an exact science. Then there's you. Self righteous. Sorry, I'm not your victim. I believe your advice and approach are so cold in nature. If you were my friend or family I would walk away. I've been bullied enough. If you've learned so much because of how you've been treated because of your situation then where is your understanding and EMPATHY? I don't get it. Nor will I be sold a shit sandwich that I refuse to eat. Still here one week and an authority with such perfect advice. I wont buy what you're selling. Not today, not ever.

#29 May 31 - 8AM (Reply to #40)

empath

Forum Guidelines...was Ephiphany's "Who the fuck are you?" post

http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2009/10/15/forum-guidelines-key-abbreviations I looked at the forum guidelines to make sure I hadn't infringed upon any of them, and was a bit shocked to see that 5 of them had been broken, and not by my posts. Epiphany, since you brought up screen names...EMPATHY is the ability to feel another person's feelings as if they were your own. What you seem to be looking for is SYMPATHY, which is feeling sorry for someone. While you're at it, look up Epiphany, as you may be about to have one, when you meet the N. for dinner. If you allow yourself to get that worked up and reactive to an email post from someone who is still a stranger, then the N. must surely know how to get inside your head and press ALL of your buttons. I don't see one person on this forum telling you that it is a GOOD idea to go to dinner with the N. Why you've singled out my posts...well, I understand that. And I don't have any sympathy for you in your present state, compassion yes, sympathy no. Sympathy is for when things beyond someone's control happen to them, through no fault of their own, not because of them. Compassion is what you have for someone who is in an unfortunate situation, such as the one you are in. I don't know you, and I have no control over who you are and what you do. You and I only know each other through a day or two's worth of interaction on an internet forum, where everyone here is essentially in a state of disrepair, and you have been very quick to get defensive about you and your situation, and very quick to be judgmental about me and mine. For all the namecalling and fingerpointing you've directed towards me in your posts here on this thread doesn't that contradict the respect you say this forum and the people in it are about? For you to react SO strongly to something said, to the point where you cursed about and "reported" the post, and sent a bizarre private message complete with namecalling and accusing another person of secretly being your N., should at least make you quietly consider your OWN behavior. What I do know is...you are willingly risking your safety be meeting with the N, and a bunch of people here have told you the same thing. Trying to transfer/project your frustration and negativity towards anyone who disagrees with you, will only screw your head up. Everyone here faces the same choice every day...to move forward and heal, or go back and re-injure themselves. I still hope you will take the good advice and experience of everyone here except me, and not go to meet with the N. If you do though, I promise I won't read/comment on your posts. I will stick to reading posts only by people who are dealing with their own issues and doing their best to avoid their Ns. and give themselves closure.

#30 Jun 2 - 7PM (Reply to #41)

Epiphany

Again

Again, who are you? SO righteous, so exact, so intelligent about this process. You just need to perfect and right. Because you can articulate an intelligent statement and throw out dictionary definitions does not make me respect you, in any way. I'm real and I know and love that about me. I'm also a software engineer, 20 years and was duped by a psychopath. Neither smart, intelligent or right in life's perception. Because bad things do not happen to good people. You can perfect your statements and I'm guessing you check them 10 times before you even post but on this board but when I smell crap, I say crap. The very second you told me I'd be on the floor for days, told me you cared zero about me. People here really do care, with compassion about others here. When you added "no support for me here" you compiled your level of no capacity for understanding. The fact you keep thrusting your point here speaks volumes in itself. If you're hurting because of what you've suffered I feel bad for you. But when you're a hammer (you) the whole world looks like a nail. Only the people here know and understand how difficult survival is. Perhaps you should wiki some new words or take a moment to be honest with yourself. Here I do not feel the need to be right or perfect. Here is where I got to be broken and supported, flawed and human. Here is where loving, amazing people told me I was ok and literally saved my life. YOU, don't get to take that from me.

#31 May 29 - 7PM (Reply to #38)

Susan32

The No Show

If it were me, I'd consent to the "one last time", only to pull the NO SHOW, without giving ANY reasons (as fun as it would be calling along the way&making up BS excuses) If the ex-Psych prof had wanted a last supper with me... I would've told him "Yes! I'd LOVE to! You are the love of my life! I'm pining for you!" But the Judas would've had to dip his own bread into the wine. I would NOT show up. I would NOT give any explanations.

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