I look forward to talking with you more sometime soon too :)
I think I am starting to see what you mean about the weeding out of friends stage - although I did have a phase thinking I was going crazy & see narcs everywhere!!
Re. my ex narc, although it was very traumatic & I felt like my world & my perception of everything had been turned on its head, in hindsight I think it might just be the best way I could've got out of the situation. I think it would've taken me a lot longer to leave him, if I ever managed it - I was blind [sometimes willingly] to so much & got sucked in by / felt responsible & guilty for all the tears, neediness "i'll die without you", "you're the only one who's ever loved me & understood me" "you're the only one who can save me" blah blah crap he used to put on me. And honestly, I'm really starting to agree with the concept that what I've experienced this last year is helping me find out who I really am & who I want to be.
As you said, this board really is a beautiful place.
Thank you again & good luck with your errands x
Ava
Welcome, dear. We are all here for you! (((hugs)))
You will find lots of support and friends here. Welcome! Lesson n°1...don't apologize!!!! We are grateful to you for being here
This board has been a life saver for me. It truly was like I was downing, and when I came up a 5th time to grasp for air, the women on this forum threw me a life saver, and I started to breath for the first time in years.
I read this forum every morning just about and every night. It helps me stay focused. I was with my exnarc for over 5 years. I went through so much trauma, and yet at the time, I had no idea what I was dealing with. I thought something was wrong with me!! When I read the things that women have gone through, the lying and cheating, the "stories" they were told by their narcs, and everything on the check list, I realize that there wasn't anything wrong with me. I thank God everyday that I found these women and this site. Stay strong!! Read here everyday and post as often as you want. We are here for each other. Share with us, and we will get through. I am still struggling, but it gets better everyday. I have found the strength here on this site. Welcome home to your new friends!! xoxoACgirl.
you too!!! :) What you described, feeling like you were drowning over & over - that's exactly how I felt & I couldn't think of a way to describe it! Oh and the thinking something was wrong with you....I felt exactly that too!! And I still catch myself doing it & even with people other than the narc, but as you say, reading this board & other people's stories has helped so immensely I can't describe it. I still have many, many times where I'll read something & almost fall off my chair because someone else has just described perfectly something I've been thinking [and doubting myself over] - either the behaviour of the narc or the feeling / reaction they've had. Thank you so much for your reassurances and encouragement. The longer I'm on here the more I'm feeling comfortable opening up & its a wonderful feeling. I do feel like I am coming home :)
Ava xx
Hang in there. once you realize what type of disordered person you were with, you have the ability to learn, grow & be strong.
It's not you. you tried. you did your best. you were not with a normal person.
This forum is filled with wise folks--in all stages of recovery. Hang in there.
Thank you so much for your welcome :) And thank you for reassuring me that it isn't just me or my fault. That is still something I'm trying to convince myself 100% & I truly believe that by being here is the absolute best way I can. And thank you for your encouragement - you've given me a real boost to feel that I can keep hanging in! Thank you again :) Ava x
Thank you Michele :)
Ava
Welcome, dear. We are all
Thank you Mariline :)
Ava
I am glad you found us....
Hi ACgirl & thank you :) I'm so glad I found
Ava
Ava
Hiya M :)
Ava