My Narc Living with OW currently advertising on Match.com - Active 3 days ago

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#1 May 19 - 5PM

SoaperGirl

My Narc Living with OW currently advertising on Match.com - Active 3 days ago

Here's his profile. hahahaha m - Basturd Narc Cheater!
ocdogwalker
66, Oregon City, OR, US
Seeking women 55-62

Get him while he's hot.

First up: I have zero interest in women with a lot of emotional baggage such that they still have guilt about moving on from a lost love. At my age, I'm not into taking a new relationship "slow". Don't be telling me I'm good for you, that you want the relationship to escalate only to tell me the next day you think it's moving too fast and want to end it. Time is short. We've got to meet, determine if there is an emotional connection, and if there is act on it.

Don't let the user name fool you, I don't walk dogs for a living. The only dog I walk is Lucky, my Border Collie, and depending on your perception, you might say Lucky walks me. I'm just a country boy at heart, laid back, emotional, I go with my gut feelings and like to avoid crowds if possible, but can be a scene stealer if pushed into a group.

I'm in good physical health, at my ideal weight, 10% body fat, try to eat right, into vitamins and anything that will delay the aging process. I prefer to be alone with a lady in a quiet, relaxing setting. Mowing the lawn, working in the yard/garden is good too as is having breakfast together. You know, simple things.

I'm looking for a lady who understands what love truly is, had it once, lost it, and wants it back. At the same time I'm particular, unwilling to latch onto the first woman who comes along unless there's an emotional connection, someone I feel I can care about, and who will care about me. read less »

#2 Jun 4 - 4PM

Jannie In the Sun

Match.com

Also, my hurt was worse after we broke up and I realized that I had some deep wounds that I had to heal. The Starfish experience has helped me grow and heal - but it has been hard not to look at him and be angry instead of facing my own pain and fears. The journey continues...one step at a time.

#3 Jun 4 - 3PM

Jannie In the Sun

Match.com

Delete, Delete, Delete - Don't look back! That being said, when I first found out the jerk I dated was on POF, I looked and I printed out the darn thing and made notes in red on all the lies, all the conflicting statements and how he said 'I' over 47 times and never once talked about what he had to bring to the table. Arrogant and cocky. Also, he called himself an ugly user name - Chocolate Starfish - enough said. Deleted! That was enough to know to run and don't look back. Ask yourself, do you really want to be with such a self centered jerk? I don't. Stay strong and love yourself!

#4 Jun 4 - 7PM (Reply to #34)

SoaperGirl

I looked him up on POF

Yeah, you are right. His profile was pretty bad. One of the sorriest I've ever seen. Run Florist Run!

#5 May 21 - 3PM

Hunter

Soaper

STOP LOOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its going to kill you. He's a narc a cheater,dogwalker and a loser. I Know, I Know, But his is going to kill you. What are you gaining? WHat he did was painful enough, when you continue to look it hurts you, not him. You were making progress looking for a job, exercising, and getting back on track. Focus on that. Im here to say YES, This 66 yr old man is a Huge JACKOFF, and he lost a woman who loved im with all her heart. His loss my friend. Hunter

#6 Jun 3 - 8PM (Reply to #30)

SoaperGirl

Hunter, I am still progressing - Who played who here?

I'm not keeping up with this loser any longer. I haven't any idea what he's doing these days. I'm not sure I even care to know...maybe a little perhaps, but it's not keeping me up at nights or stressing me out. Just took part in my first job interview today for an executive assistant position at a place I've wanted to work at for many years. Also applied for a few other positions, any of which would make a nice feather in my cap with nice pay and benefits. Any of them will significantly upgrade my standard of living and give me an improved lifestyle. Reading how these assholes operate really brings it home to me that I dodged a huge bullet when he went behind my back and secured another woman (or should I say a free ATM Machine?). I think his OW will end up suffering far more than I ever thought possible. He conned his way into her home, and I think will gain control of her money and other assets. I had none of those things to give him. By the time he's done with her and ready to move on, I would not be surprised if she was utterly and totally destroyed. Yes, my pride has been hurt, but I ended up with cash and gifts from him which included a brand new computer, new chain saw, new car tire, a washer/dryer, computer supplies and other items, and cash to boot with access to his bank account! I was the one who made out like a bandit truth be told. Plus, there is also the added benefit that I got shaken up out of a nice, complacent, insulating cocoon I'd built up for myself over the years...now I have to go out and live! I can't retreat from the world anymore! So, I won much more than I lost! Who played who here? mmm.... lol, and I wasn't even trying! The OW, well, she's the one who is going to catch Hell! I'm doing better every day, happy, healthy and thriving! Life is good!

#7 Jun 3 - 9PM (Reply to #31)

Deidre40

He bought you a chain saw

He bought you a chain saw hmmmm? lol You might need it. lol I am juuuust kidding. :P Hi Soaper {{hugs}} I'm glad you had an interview. You sound like you're turning the corner, girl...awesome to hear!!!

#8 Jun 3 - 9PM (Reply to #32)

SoaperGirl

He bought you a chain saw - yes and no

I needed to cut down a dead, diseased tree, and he'd sent me a store credit card so I could buy anything I needed. I picked it out, and he paid for it. Yes, I think I am turning a corner. More and more, I'm working on changing my life for the better. I can't stay home feeling sorry for myself - nor do I want to. I have my smile back now.

#9 May 21 - 4PM (Reply to #29)

SoaperGirl

You make strong medicine Hunter

But thanks! I needed that, especially today, when I've been feeling so down. I'm grateful!

#10 May 21 - 3PM (Reply to #28)

SoaperGirl

You're right Hunter: Today is three month anniversary since bre

I think I keep getting caught up in that old conundrum: What does she have that I didn't - and naturally, in my mind she comes out the winner. You are right. I'm still looking. I'm trying to move on, but Iseem tyo be so weak. I'm still working on those things. Currently reading Lethzal Lovers adn Poisonous People. Today is three month anniversary since break up. Thanks for the boot!

#11 May 21 - 7AM

SoaperGirl

Funny thing is, the OW has been active on Match.com within 2 wee

Just did a Match.com search. They evidently met each on Match.com likely during that last month when Brent kept claiming he was too busy to talk with me and kept giving me the brush off. This bastard is the biggest liar and cheat to come down the pike I've ever known! Apparently they'd been in contact for sometime! Even more astonishing: while they've both been in a supposedly commited relationsnhip for about 2 1/2 months now (I'm sure it's been longer than that!), deeply in love, and both have been recently active on the match.com. website. Ha! They belong together! Two of a kind evidently. He within 3 days - I'm thinking likely same day sure, if not more often, when I found his active profile on Thursday, and she within the last two weeks...she's either still looking, or maybe checking up on him..take your choice. The whole thing seems sick, twisted and weird to me. They both deserve each other! I don't believe in treating people so badly like I was. No ethics, no integrity, no decency or honor! Yes, it is hilarious reading his childish laundry list of what he wants in a woman, infantile demands of what he wants, and using old photos. Right now, I am unbelievably disgusted and repelled by the whole thing. It's all just so sick and twisted! If I had any trust issues before, you can be sure, they are going off the trust-o-meter big time now. So now, for me, for my own well-being, health and happiness, what I want to do is concentrate on me being the best I can be. I'm thinking I probably was attractive to him because I am a warm, loving family oriented woman. I adore my family and especially my grandchildren. While this has been an experience I'd rather not have gone through, nevertheless, I have learned a lot, I'm stronger now, and I'll be a lot smarter and more discriminating in the future. Maybe someday I'll find the right man who wants the same things I do. Only time will tell. My thanks go all! Right now, I am so filled with anger and disgust over the whole thing!

#12 May 21 - 9AM (Reply to #24)

OnlyChild49 (not verified)

If She were wise

OW would hide her profile because she can still check on him without it being shown. Otherwise, it appears she is looking. Regarding older men and being in a yank - they are!! LOL!! My therapist says if they wake up in the morning and are still in one piece/alive, they are ready to do and go!! I figure it has something to do with mortality. It's more difficult when you are older to tell the difference between "age panic" and N traits.

#13 May 21 - 9AM (Reply to #25)

SoaperGirl

If She were wise

she would be looking too! I find it fascinating that both still have their match.com accounts in active status, and despite living together, supposedly commited in their relationship and deeply in love, yet they are both still active on match.com. She especially is getting a raw deal on him. My every instinct tells me, he's still out there trolling for additional women or lining up her replacement in case a better deal comes along. I think he's looking for a woman who has more money and property to offer. He's a man whore! Hard to say about her. If she's smart, she'll keep on looking for a better man, and get his ass out of her house ASAP!

#14 May 21 - 4PM (Reply to #26)

Susan32

Both committed&looking

When I was with the ex-Psych prof, I was dating my junior year... well, because professors&students can't date. I thought it was OK. I heard thru the grapevine that he'd complain to his students DURING CLASS about me dating. He had a serious girlfriend in LA... and when I confronted him on it, he gave me the silent treatment. I think by dating, I used it as a survival skill. If I had NOT dated, I probably would've gotten romantically/sexually involved with the ex-P... maybe even made the cosmic mistake of marrying him. The ex-P hoovered me after his girlfriend moved in, saying "It shouldn't matter to you that I already have a girlfriend." IMHO, I think the ex-P and his girlfriend had an open relationship... fine, some people do that, but be HONEST about it. The ex-P had his circle of young men (it was rumored he was gay, an out prof who warned me about him didn't help)... and it was rumored that the girlfriend was a lesbian. Sam Vaknin says that if you want a long-term relationship with a Narc, don't worry about having affairs on the side, because (a)it means drama and (b)no need for emotional attachment. The OW might be a Narc. Sofia Tolstoy had an emotional affair with a musician; she was suspicious that Leo was having affairs with men (as well as a female serf who had borne a son)... Leo&Sofia stayed together, despite the fact they had people on the side.

#15 May 20 - 10PM

Deidre40

Just one more comment... In

Just one more comment... In the beginning of his monologue...lol He seems so ...narcish...no? Like even if you are totally unaware of what narcissism even is, I'd like to think most women would be turned off by that. Like he wants to jump so quickly...get a woman attached. ''Don't be telling me...'' I mean...huh? I can't believe a man nearing 70 would behave like this. It's really something. Sad.

#16 May 20 - 10PM

Deidre40

Oh...I thought the BF % was

Oh...I thought the BF % was funny, too. That they all feel the need to bring this up. hahaha Mine truly does have 8% BF. He was definitely in good shape. I read it again, SG...and gosh...this is so damn funny. lol

#17 May 20 - 10PM

Deidre40

LMAO...I'm laughing out loud

LMAO...I'm laughing out loud for real! OMG!!!! Honestly...it sounds a little on the angry side, no? :P 66 years old and he is so demanding...I want this and this and this. OK...I went out with a guy I'm seeing tonight. Just got back. I was lurking on here earlier, and ran across your thread. I decided to just now, look at plenty of fish.com? Have you heard of this? Because the N knows that I know, he has a profile on there. I never ever looked. Like before he and I were dating, I never looked. But, tonight? Your thread prompted me to just see if I could plug in his age, sex, and within 10 miles of the city he lives in. I scrolled to about 3 pages...and then BAM! There he was. :=D And I share this, because his ''about me'' is exactly like your narcs. Basically, a LAUDNRY LIST of what a girl needs to be. He lied about the ages of his kids. He added an update, that he'll move for the 'right girl.' Good grief, I wasn't sad a bit. I am over him. But, there was this sinking feeling for the next girl. So ladies, when you think about the OW's...think that they are going to eventually be there when the narc's mask drops to the floor. Anyways...he went on and on...pretty much like yours here. Saying he wants a girl who doesn't lie, cheat...etc. He goes on about how 'you're not going to change me into what you want.' You know, as I read through it. It would seem like he has a lot of pent up, residual rage over his 4th wife. Some of the things he was naming in his profile, were her. Or at least that's what he claims. But, there were some things in there about me. lol Isn't ''about me'' supposed to be about that person? haha I guess these narcs think that means to dictate to whomever everything they want. Like a vending machine of women, will be at their disposal. LMAO! Thank you for this very funny thread. A few weeks ago, I wouldn't have been able to see the narc on such a dating site, but I'm happily dating someone now...have worked hard to stop breaking NC, and tonight, I just decided to check. Ok...in a very teeny tiny way. I felt sorry for him. He never learns. 4 failed marriages. Kids he doesn't know, or see. And he posts on there that he's open/undecided to having more kids. Are you for real, dude? You don't care nor love the ones you HAVE. My heart hurts if he ends up with a young girl, who is willing to have kids, because he just isn't capable of what he thinks he's capable of. :=( So, I have a heart. I do feel like these men ...I mean look at yours here, Soaper...66? And still acting like a child? It's mind boggling. It's so very sad. But, anyways. I just wanted to share! I

#18 May 20 - 8PM

Steph

wow. A "scene stealer" AND he

wow. A "scene stealer" AND he only has "10% percent body fat"!!! LMAO It should say "I only operate at 10% of my brain capacity". That sounds more accurate. What a freak.

#19 May 20 - 7PM

nycgal66

what a catch!

yeah...mowing the lawn...gotta get me some of that.

#20 May 20 - 6PM

findingmeagain

alot of red flags are going

alot of red flags are going off from just this profile . he seeks emotional connection and if he doesn't "feel" it he is out the door. narc city boy. he doesn't latch of course not he is going to have too many to just latch on to one. smh LOSER!

#21 May 21 - 3PM (Reply to #17)

SoaperGirl

Will I ever learn?

This afternoon has been really rough..I went to into another bawling fit over this creep. I think about him being with the OW with her money and nice home...all the things I don't have. She bought herself a manwhore which I realize. Yet, I feel the need to change my life although at 62 years old now and retired that could be difficult. I'm struggling! I wonder if I'll ever learn to toughen up, and learn how to avoid jerks like him. You are all so smart and strong, and right now I'm not feeling any of those things. My self-esteem is taking a real beating because of this horse's ass. I feel like him and the OW are at laughing me. I have a dual bachelor of arts degree and raised a family single-handedly. I've worked hard all my life and put myself through school. I feel like I've squandered my life, and wasted precious years (which I spent raising a family unlike the OW who has no one but my narc! The OW has only had some college, and makes so much more money than me even if she is retired herself now but is running a successful business. I usually don't feel jealous or envious of others. Most of the time I'm reasonably content with my life. Sure, there's some things I feel could be better, but it's not really big thing fo rme. How do I feel about this situation? Tell me what you do to feel better about yourself! I'm trying to move on and forget. Sure, I know it's just the image of someone who never really exiosted, yet I loved him, not the man in his reality. Why is my mind in such a whirl today? When is this roller coaster going to stop! I want him out of my head and my life back!

#22 May 20 - 6PM

Smitten Kitten (not verified)

OMG!

UnEffingBelievable! Just the whole thing. These freaks never cease to amaze me!

#23 May 19 - 6PM

Susan32

What he needs...

A nursing home and/or a babysitter! Seriously, you once posted his pic... he needs someone to wipe his butt&give him enemas.

#24 May 19 - 6PM (Reply to #9)

SoaperGirl

Great post Susan32

You've got my ROFLMAO. so true though. I think you are right!

#25 May 21 - 9AM (Reply to #14)

Used

BREAKFAST

HE MENTIONS BREAKFAST? WHY BOTHER WITH FORMALITYS, JUST CUT TO THE CHASE AND SAY I AM 66[SO GLAD THERE ARE NOT 3 SIXES] SO I NEED SEX AND BOLLOCKS TO ANYTHING ELSE, THE ONLY DOG IS HIM AND HE TOLD A LIE RIGHT AWAY ON HIS PROFILE, QUICK QUICK HE COULD BE DEAD TOMORROW...LOL.

#26 May 19 - 6PM (Reply to #10)

Susan32

Is he posting his pic?

Some Narcs actually do the work of looking good... yours doesn't. If he's not posting his pic at Match.com, I don't exactly blame him. He REALLY should consider the infantilism* fetish. *This was recently featured on TABOO (a National Geographic show) at http://www.hulu.com Adults get their kicks acting like babies. Really.

#27 May 19 - 6PM (Reply to #12)

SoaperGirl

He has 3 pics posted

They are older photos so I'm guessing the reason is he thinks it make shim look younger. I've been razzing him some on how much older and uglier he's looking these days. Maybe he thought the older photos would help.

#28 May 19 - 6PM (Reply to #13)

Susan32

I told the ex-P the same thing

The ex-Psych prof's girlfriend from LA to NM to be with him. After the final D&D, I matter-of-factly told him that if he lost some weight&got his teeth cleaned, HE was the one who should've gone to LA for an acting/modeling job. I conjured the image of agents fighting for his attentions. In my case, I think the ex-P PURPOSEFULLY wanted to be fat. He'd talk about it. Your Narc acts kinda normal in that he WANTS to look good... even if he actually doesn't.

#29 May 19 - 6PM (Reply to #11)

SoaperGirl

He has 3 pics posted

They are older photos so I'm guessing the reason is he thinks it makes him look younger, sexier and more virile. I've been razzing him some on how much older and uglier he's looking these days. Maybe he thought the older photos would help.

#30 May 19 - 6PM

mynewlife2011

Way to BUST A Narc Soapergirl!!!

Obviously the OW didn't change him..what a BIG surprise!! LOL Gosh, wouldn't it be fun to rent a billboard in OR with a big NARC ALERT at the top and his match.com profile? He would have to move. I would consider investing in a fake match.com account and notify every woman in his age group of him. I have been so angry at my ExN lately I am scheming all types of revenge. My revenges have revenges. I know my time would be better well spent working on me, but today I just want the asshole to suffer.

#31 May 21 - 5PM (Reply to #7)

SoaperGirl

Yeah, I'd like to him to suffer too!

Maybe that's what getting to me most. I'd rally like that basturd to suffer...I want everything he tries to fail and blow up in his face. I want to see him homeless on the streets panhandling for food..you name it everything. I want him to be separated form his teeny tiny balls permanently! I want his dick to be cut off, I want to put a bullet between his eyes! Yeah man! That would really do it for me! Lorena Bobbitt had the right idea! She's my hero!

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