Triggered last night
Triggered last night
So last night after work myself and 2 friends went for drinks after work. It ended in a fight.
These 2 girls weren't really there for me when I went through break up with the N. They basically had told me to stop talking about it and move on....this was 2-3 weeks after it had happened.
Anyways, we talked about it months later and they apologized and admitted they didn't really understand what I was going through.
I guess i have always still felt insecure and judged by them and it came up last night. My one friend admitted that at one point she did think I was crazy because I kept talking about it and cried over him and was depressed.
My xN always blamed me for fights that happened when we drank because that's when i would speak up about things he did that hurt me. So, instead of the fight being about what he had done to me, it turned into being about me having too many drinks and crying and creating "drama" I guess. There were only 3 or 4 of these fights the year i was with him.
I still have guilt over it i guess and the fight with my friends last night just triggered it. It was the same thing last night...I spoke up about feeling snubbed by them and feeling very judged and unsupported and then it becomes my fault.
My one friend just left a bad relationship and I have been so supportive and there for her always. I feel like I am expected to be the great friend, but am supposed to just forget that when I really needed them, they not only weren't there, they didn't try and understand, and admitted thinking I am the problem.
My one friend said to me that no wonder I feel guilty about things and I will feel guilty about what i said to them too. That's when I got up and left and she was after me apologizing for saying it. I told her she just threw a very sensitive issue in my face and to F off.
It just really hurts. I feel like the worst things my N said about me, my friends think that of me too.
I am sick of being expected to keep my mouth shut. I spoke up about how they made me feel and then I was the shit for it.....just like with the N.
Sorry for this ramble. I am really upset today and down on myself.
Thanks for listening:)
So....
These gals aren't
Something that is important
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
I am so very thankful to
Staying strong
Nevergoback
That is a good point. thanks
NancyM
Staying Strong
I have received a similar vibe
i have been "strong" my
staying strong78
I'm with you
I am a Taurus as well
True friends are hard to come by
Thanks so much:) I have told
Stay Strong, StayingStrong
I love this: " I'm done
I'm sorry you still feel the pain
I'm sorry that happened :(
Wholeagain
Kelly
almostlydia
You are soo right
losing 'friends'
Friends
It's Complicated
almostlydia