Well, I proved to be the idiot

I honestly thought I could contact her. Even after I read all the posts, and blogs, and advice. She contacted me back, then when she got uncomfortable she stopped. It was all on her terms, and that chaps me. It's like they will never let you go out on your terms....it truly is all about them. I finally just told her that it's fine...I will be ok and that I am in a good place mentally and emotionally. (I know that's a line of bull, but it is getting better, and who cares what she believes anyway?) I just ended it on my terms..Or what I feel are my terms. I know she read the text. I just feel dumb right now for thinking I could do this. I am going back to NC, and this time..no matter how good I feel. I know for a fact that this feels like crap, and I don't want to feel this way any longer. Ugh! Moment of weakness, and that is exactly what it was...a moment. I am not feeding the monster anymore. It eats you alive.