Hello, I'm new :) And I wanted to start by saying thank you and I'm sorry
Hello, I'm new :) And I wanted to start by saying thank you and I'm sorry
Hiya, I've been visiting this site for a good few weeks & I can't express how wonderful it has been to find this forum. I have been amazed in so many ways - the love, support, understanding and genuine caring you all show each other - and this is what I want to thank you for - just for being here, existing and being yourselves. And for letting me join [!] What I wanted to apologise for was reading the posts and comments on here for so long & getting so much from it....I know it may sound stupid but I feel a little as if I've been eavesdropping & I am sorry for that.
I haven't posted my story yet & I was going to wait to do that first before I posted anything else, but I'm finding myself taking too long to write it all out & I didn't want to keep putting off joining. I've been in massive self-induced isolation for a long while & I'm really trying to push myself to get out of it!
In a nutshell, I'm almost a year out of a 5 year defacto relationship with [what I know now] was a textbook narc. I've spent the last 10 months or so reading, researching, processing & journalling & he ticks almost all the boxes & I tick almost all the boxes with regards to my own feelings, experience & reaction. The relationship ended when I found out he was cheating, confronted him, he went on a rampage of rage, controlling, blame, guilt, sobbing & begging me not to leave, vowing to do anything to save our relationship....then he went to work & simply never came home - disappeared off the face of the earth until he rang me about 2 months later from another city to say "hi, how are ya?" like nothing had happened.
I've found out so much about him, his "real" character & his real history since then that I'm finally starting to get to a point where I feel I may just have dodged a bullet [!!]. But I also feel I'm only just starting to focus my attention on myself [and not obsessing about him]. And this is another reason why I am so in love with this forum. I've had several friends criticising me, belitting me, telling me I'm weak & selfish because I "refuse" to "just get over it." And there's none of that here. You all know what its like.
I've become a bit more wordy that I thought I would. Honestly - I did just want to start by saying thank you. Thank you all for being so strong, wonderful, inspirational and supportive to each other. Even without joining in, its made me feel like I haven't been alone.
Thank you x
welcome and I just made you
Hiya fooled no longer :)
Ava
Ava
Hiya ClusterF :)
Ava
Ava
Hiya helldweller :)
Ava
Welcome Ava. It is a
almostlydia
Hiya almostlydia :)
Ava
Thanks, Ava. It was a
almostlydia
I'm so glad almostlydia that you were able to have
Ava
Welcome Ava
Hiya truthseeker :)
Ava
Ava :)
Hiya Briseis :)
Ava
Ava..:)
Greeting Ava
Playedwithfire
Hi Playedwithfire :)
Ava
Hi Ava! Welcome to AAH. I
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
Hi Betty & thank you for your lovely welcome :)
Ava
Welcome Ava, Thank you for
only one way to go...Forward (tm?)
Welcome Ava
Believe in yourself!
Terri
Hiya Terri
Ava
Welcome to the board Ava
stay~strong
Hiya Disillusionedx2
Ava
Dear Ava
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Ava
Hiya Blueeyes
Ava
Also...
Thanks blueeyes
Ava
Don't Apologize