Narcissist Recovery Blog

The Best Revenge for a Narcissist

The Best Revenge for a Narcissist

I recently received this question in regard to The Best Revenge for a Narcissist:

"I have read in many places - that indifference is
the ultimate punishment for a narc but at the same time it is said
that he/she does not care, it is he/she who feels no empathy.

How can indifference be a punishment for someone who does not care?"

Narcs thrive on supply/attention.

Control is their mothership, as they fear intimacy.

Primarily they vacillate between fear and anger.

Think, petty angry brooding sulking spoiled brat. Narc injury.

Thus, ignoring a petty spoiled fearful control freak naturally is going to evoke fear and rage.

Rage that you have the control; your power back.

Fear that they may be losing something of value.

Upgraded Private Chat Room for Real-Time Support from Narcissistic Abuse

Check out our new Private Chat Room, which allows you to talk real-time with other subscribing members of The Path Forward and our Moderators! We’ve had a Chat Room feature for the past couple years. However, members have understandably not been fond of it because it did not show you who else was in the Chat Room when you were on-line.

As a result of new technology, and your continued interest in having this feature, we have upgraded our website to accommodate an improved Private Chat Room. Our new Chat Room will show you who is on-line when you are and will be faster and more user-friendly overall. We hope you will agree, of course, and welcome all feedback.

How Pathological Narcissism Led to the Rise & Fall of Anthony Weiner

Yes, pun intended ;) but in all seriousness, several people in the media have been labeling Weiner a pathological narcissist lately and I’ve been asked if I agree. To be honest, it’s hard not to agree.

Let’s first acknowledge that everyone is narcissistic. It is part of the human condition. Narcissism is a phase each one of us goes through between infancy and toddlerhood. Those of us who receive a healthy balance of love and affection successfully evolve out of the narcissistic stage and learn to develop compassion and empathy for others. Healthy well-adjusted children learn that other people have feelings, and that mother and the rest of the world, by extension, DO NOT exist to cater to our needs.

Why is it so Difficult to Stay Away from the Narcissist?

Many of us don’t understand why it's so hard to stay away from the Narcissist even after we learn how toxic they are to us. Aside from their obvious charm, it's important to recognize how the Narcissist brainwashes us. I know it sounds dramatic, but it's true. Narcissists literally brainwash us. They know exactly how to keep us coming back with the lure, the promise and the hook. Understanding how they do this is helpful to your recovery.

Digging out the root...the real beginning

When I first discover that the root issues, the real reason I’m feeling so lost and bereft, so wounded and abandoned have nothing to do with The Destroyer, it’s a bit liberating. I had given him so much power in my life for so very long.

I’m still confused, though. He’d just given me the silent treatment for 12 days and I did not chase. That is new for me. I’d been reading The Path Forward forum for months, so not chasing, calling, texting, begging, apologizing, changes the script. I think I am finally done. So when he texts to plead to meet for dinner and talk, I am surprised. And override my screaming gut and say yes. I feel a twinge of guilt and stupidity, mixed with weakness and doubt.

Progress...will I ever heal? Guest blog by Done Sourcing

Progress along the path isn’t linear, as Journey says. And sometimes it’s frustrating that after months have passed, recovery isn’t yet complete. It’s a different timeline for everyone, but milestones reveal themselves along that way. Longtime member Done Sourcing recently shared his experience with a member who was questioning the timeline at the 16 month mark. The honesty, accuracy, inspiration and most importantly insight is so valuable I’m compelled to share it as a blog. Thank you DS for your honesty and for helping others on the path.


Guest Blog by Janie 53 ~ I Am an Ordinary Middle Aged Woman ~ The Other Woman

~ I Am an Ordinary Middle Aged Woman ~ The Other Woman
Posted June 5, 2013 - 11:43am
Vote up!
I love this .. So I resurfaced it!! Thank you Janie

~ I Am an Ordinary Middle Aged Woman ~
The Other Woman

I have dark brown hair with auburn highlights that I add to disguise both the inevitable and uninvited gray. My eyes are brown with a few specks of green. They are outlined with crows feet and small wrinkles; a result of too much sun and a lot of life. I have a very small gap between my front teeth. My days of going without a bra are long gone. I lost that battle to nursing my babies and the laws of gravity. I'm somewhat athletic and have been told I have nice legs. (At least I used to) I think I'm an ordinary middle aged woman.

Lessons from nature...Predator and prey

“...Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve....”
--Erich Fromm

I’m sitting on my deck watching my newly grouped up ducks peck around the yard. The big, white pekins are gentle; creatures of habit and routine. They listen to my commands, mostly because I’m in charge of the food, but they are perfectly fine on their own, and don’t like to be handled. That’s okay. They are ducks. They are meant to peck around, swim, preen, sleep, and peck around, swim, preen and sleep some more. This is their life. They are happy—that is if ducks can be “happy.” Content, may be the better word. They have their life, they know who they are.

Why is UNDERSTANDING it, often, so difficult?

Why is UNDERSTANDING it, often, so difficult?

Step One: Understanding it (them)

When in a relationship with a PD, trying to figure it out and get to, just WHAT is going on with them, with yourself, and the relationship is often just one big bundle of confusion and pain.

We try to talk it out with them and that doesn't seem to get us anywhere.

We may ask others if they can make any sense of it, many simply say: if you are not happy or he is treating you badly, then just get out of it. Stop seeing him, move on, be done with it, he is not worth it, you deserve better, there are so many other guys out there who may really love you and be good to you.

Sounds good, YET, you may still FEEL or THINK, that there must be some answers, solutions, CURES.

Experiencing Your Rebirth After A Narcissist

“Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person.”
~ Gerard Way

There is no doubt getting over a narcissist is a painful experience. I am often asked when the grieving ends. Everyone is different. You can’t put a time frame on the healing process. What I do know is that the longer you avoid your pain, the longer it takes to recover. We must confront our pain and process it in order to heal and move on.


I have noticed many similarities in the Males I work with in recovery from a PD, female. There are volumes of information regarding the empathetic women and how she fits the profile for the Narcissistic male on the prowl for supply, not so much pertaining to the male good guy attracted to the female PD, or the female PD looking to the male good guy for supply.

Denial as a Defense Mechanism When Getting Over a Narcissist

I recently interviewed Dr. Joseph Burgo on my Blog Talk Radio Show regarding his book “Why? Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives.”

I think Dr. Burgo’s book is helpful for anyone trying to get over a narcissist because it helps us understand why we respond to the emotional trauma and abuse we suffer in this type of relationship. By understanding why we respond the way we do and being accepting of the ways in which we cope, I believe we can learn to break free from the defense mechanisms that prevent us from moving forward and finding the joy in life that we ultimately deserve.