Narcissist Recovery Blog

Loving someone who cannot return your love is agonizing and difficult to accept. However, the knowledge that no matter what you do, this person will never change is quite powerful, in my opinion. Once you understand this fundamental truth and accept it, a whole new world opens up to you. Your newfound knowledge should be liberating.

Breaking NC by proxy; IS BREAKING NC and Keeping the BUZZ ALIVE.

Same as when a Narc hoovers by proxy; no difference.

These unhealthy relationships are NOT just about what the NARCS do, they are about what we continue to do to torture ourselves, keep the buzz alive, and remain in an Unhealthy state of mind and being.

It is common for some to continue to engage in intrique regarding the Narc, to "hang out" with people you had in common or places you had in common, or to stalk his Facebook or other sites he frequents. Driveby's where he may be "hanging out" or where he lives or OW house, ect....

It is still head tripping about the Narc.

The mind plays tricks on us trying to keep our addiction and connection to the Narc alive.

In answer to a member out 4 months (NC) and feeling intense sadness and wanting to die.

You are grieving

Real grieving does not even begin until the cognitive dissonance die's down. This is why it seems to take so long to recover from a PD.

Depending on how long you stay in c/d determines when the real inner work and grieving begins.

A necessary step in letting go and eventually moving on.

We are not taught how or encourged to grieve in this society.

Especially when it is over someone deemed to be unhealthy or bad for us.

Many tell us that we are lucky to be done with them. Find someone better. He was a sicko anyways, ect.

So we often feel almost guilty to grieve. Ashamed for grieving a bad man.

More than 30,000 pregnancies are attributable to rape every year. I hope women realize that Mr. Akin's platform is the exact same platform as the Romney/Ryan Ticket and the Grand Old Party itself. There is nothing grand about that. Old, archaic and ignorant, YES, but not grand.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eve-ensler/todd-akin-rape_b_1812930.html

Dear Todd Akin,

I am writing to you tonight about rape. It is 2 AM and I am unable to sleep here in the Democratic Republic of Congo. I am in Bukavu at the City of Joy to serve and support and work with hundreds, thousands of women who have been raped and violated and tortured from this ceaseless war for minerals fought on their bodies.

This is by Guest Blogger Portia:

Yesterday many of us responded to a post from a very confused member, who was worried that she may have misjudged a complete jerk by calling him a N, and she wondered "what if he's not" and she completely excused his vile behavior, and made up excuses to forgive him for all of it because she really liked "being up on that pedastal". This post had it all, Denial, Cognitive Dissonance, Self-blame, Obligatory Sex, thinking a relationship would evolve if sex was provided, unrealistic expectations.