Narcissist Recovery Blog

I recently interviewed Dr. Joseph Burgo on my Blog Talk Radio Show regarding his book “Why? Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives.”

I think Dr. Burgo’s book is helpful for anyone trying to get over a narcissist because it helps us understand why we respond to the emotional trauma and abuse we suffer in this type of relationship. By understanding why we respond the way we do and being accepting of the ways in which we cope, I believe we can learn to break free from the defense mechanisms that prevent us from moving forward and finding the joy in life that we ultimately deserve.

According to Wikipedia:

“In the wake of the Manti Te'o girlfriend scandal, the term "Catfish" has entered common parlance to describe a person who engages someone in a fake relationship online, and the act of perpetrating such a hoax is now known as catfishing.

Catfish is a 2010 American documentary film, directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, involving a young man being filmed by his brother and friend as he builds a romantic relationship with a young woman on the social networking website Facebook.

Lance Armstrong....Is He or Isn’t He a Narcissist? That seems to be the million dollar question right now in light of his recent admission on Oprah that he did in fact dope for years, yet threatened and sued anyone who tried to challenge his assertions that he was clean.

The vengeance with which he went after those who challenged him is incomprehensible to me and is what has me exploring his personality right now. I mean, it’s one thing to lie and cheat, but then to go so far as ruin the lives of people who were simply telling the truth is beyond callous to me.

To help us understand his behavior, I will be interviewing Joseph Burgo, PhD. who recently wrote an excellent article in the Atlantic on Lance’s narcissism.

Sisters:

Women helping women. Women loving women.

I have heard many women say, they get along much better with men than they do with women. Some say they don't trust women. Many women with the N are jealous or bitter towards the OW. The Narc gives you so little that it may be easy to fall into this trap and blame the OW for what he is doing or not doing. Easy to think he must love her more or perhaps she is better than you somehow, not the case. She is just like you in many ways.

There may be a variety of reasons why some women don't like or trust OW, in general.

My father was a N/P and my Mom drank to deal with the pain of his cold insensitive cruel ways.

“It is the darkness that makes the light visible, and not the other way around.”
--Nancy Venable Raine

I don’t like all this “becoming.” Six years of becoming someone I don’t recognize. But of all the things I have “become,” I am at the do-or-die transformation now. Being Pain Queen doesn’t work any more. Pain Queen is on her last leg. And she just can’t take any more pain. So I must become a person who does not desire it. Who doesn’t seek it. Doesn’t turn to it. Doesn’t count on it. Doesn’t accept it as a permanent affliction.

I must become a person who does not love HIM. Who couldn’t possibly love a man who has brought me so much pain. I must stop thinking I love him. It’s just too twisted to “love” the source of my pain...