Narcissist Recovery Blog

Goldie and The Path Forward support group will help get you where you really need to be - dealing with the pain. Now, I realize that being in the "midst of pain" does not sound all that appealing, but that's half the problem with our culture.

We have been so conditioned to avoid pain and seek pleasure when the reality is that life is an undeniable combination of BOTH Pain & Pleasure. The sooner we accept this, the sooner we are on our way to finally healing.

Countless songs and poems have been written about how pain does not exist without pleasure and pleasure does not exist without pain so why are we fooled into thinking we can achieve all or nothing in this regard or any regard for that matter.

To all those in the states, Happy Fourth of July! I will always be grateful to the men and women who fight for our freedom and never take it for granted. I hope all who celebrate enjoy a fun, safe and celebratory day today!

To all of us, regardless of where we live, Happy Independence Day!!!!!

The quotes in the link below really remind me how lucky I am to have my independence. I thought I would share with all of you in hopes that you appreciate the same!

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/independence

Some of my favorites are:

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

“I'd rather die my way than live yours.”
― Lauren Oliver, Delirium

This is the nature of grief, loss, and change

We grieve endings whether they were good or bad, it is still going to be a big change for you, as well as a loss. The loss of what "should" have been, never was, the good and the bad. We grieve the death of the hope, fantasy, and illusion of what we wanted it to be.

We fear the unknown and often get comfortable with that which is familar and venturing into the newness and unknown may be challenging on many levels.

Just because a relationship had many hurtful components does not mean that there were not things about being with that person which brought you comfort. As awful as PD's are, in truth it was not all bad or we would not have been with them in the first place.

Why do we struggle with the notion that we were infiltrated in our own homes and hearts by evil? Why is this concept difficult to wrap the brain around? Why would we prefer to live in denial that they are even a PD? When we attempt to warn others they look at US like we are the one's with the problem. Why can't WE move on and stop trying to "cause trouble" for the him and his new supply? We are trained when bad things happen to let it go and move on. People do not want to hear about our unsavory mess. Just forget about it we are told. Get on with your life. You will find someone better.

All righty then.....The PD has you doubting yourself and then others imply that your wanting to warn them is dramatic. No one could be that bad. It takes two to tango.

The Dance of the Narcissist; Delight, Devalue, Degrade, & Discard

Education, understanding, & acceptance is your POWER and FREEDOM

Once you get who and what they are; YOU then make a CHOICE.

Do I want someone in my life who is USING me and has no LOVE or VALUE for me OR do I want myself and my life back?

They do NOT change, they do NOT care about you and eventually they will destroy ALL that is real, good, and valuable in your life.

They are blood sucking vampires, vultures, maggots, parasites looking for a host.

Do you want to be a host?

This is a choice, either you cut your losses, call it a day, and go NC.

OR......

You go a few more rounds and let then take MORE.

They usually come back for more even years later. The HOOVER is NOT a compliement.