well known phrases

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#1 Sep 12 - 3AM
Alibi_10's picture

well known phrases

Now the mask has slipped and I am trying to rise the blasted rose-tinted spectacles off the end of my nose, I can hear the following phrases echoing round my head. They were repeated often:

I am a machine
I don't need anybody
I am in a bad place
I am in a state of flux
people bore me. .. I am surrounded by idiots
I am just waiting to die
I don't care what people think about me
no wonder men hate women
I am too good for most people
Women always try to control me
sex is just sex
I am not a bad person
I think I treat you well
I have done nothing wrong
Don't get emotional !!

How many of these are familiar? Would be interesting to know because
they were repeated so often

Sep 17 - 7PM
starofthesea's picture

Lest I Forget...

You are so arrogant You and your faggot friends You're a fag hag Click..brrr (sound of phone hanging up when I told him my Dad was critically ill and we would have to cancel our weekend break) Go to hell All women are the same I'm going to find a younger, educated women - a lawyer like me I could have had any woman at that party and you know it! She's just a friend! You never want me to have friends! You're a granny fag hags are dirty people people like you should be cursed in hell forever you are full of deceit you are possessed by satan you are evil you are too selfish to change you are damaging you are sick you are a disgrace to humanity You are evil you only have one feeling - hate and revenge and selfishness Er...I think that's enough for now and only the tip of the iceberg! Quite scary to write it all down! I think I can now officially admit that I was abused. The mystery is why an intelligent woman would stand for this for so long.
Sep 17 - 5PM
Susan32's picture

Some more Narcisms....

"I'm struggling with my narcissism" "I'm controlling my emotions" (explaining why he wouldn't comfort me when I was in tears) "You were inappropriate" (his constant excuse for NOT apologizing) "I don't respect students as people" (duh) "Miss A--- is seeing a therapist because she can't control her emotions" "If you're so unhappy, why don't you kill yourself?" "You're not a happy person" "She REALLY loved him" (discussing Sofia Tolstoy, who attempted suicide because her famous husband emotionally neglected her) "You are the Devil, I have to fight you" "Idiotic grin" "The Devil made you smart" "The Devil made you pretty" The ex-Psych professor thought he was BRILLIANT.
Sep 16 - 8PM
Susan32's picture

Hey, those look familiar

The ex-Psych professor responded with "I am a machine" when I told him how he came across as robotic. even my Narc boss and Narc grandmother are more connected/in tune with their bodies(!!!) "I don't need anybody"-to explain why his colleagues avoided him. Once, I was arguing with him and told him to say something that was NOT lifted from Tolstoy, Schopenahuer or Wittgenstein. He seemed to have not heard of interpretation.
Sep 16 - 5PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

We weren't married...

I don't want to be your trophy husband...
Sep 16 - 5PM (Reply to #90)
no more
no more's picture


Mine would constanly tell me HE was the victim,,,,, He also used to say I was always crying "poor pitty pitty me"?????

I just got involved with the same N for the second time.
What was I thinking? Because I have put myself back to the same point where I am blaming myself again. And for what?
I want to get rid of these feelings again.

Sep 17 - 7AM (Reply to #91)
helldweller's picture


Oh, boy, yes. Mine went on and on about how he was "absued" and "beat up" by me endlessly, and that he just couldn't "take it anymore." Ugh.
Sep 16 - 4PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture


Did I get an apology?...NO Dis he have any remorse?...NO BUT my puny narc did offer words of empathy and compassion...I was handed...*drumroll please... "I have to forgive myself"
Sep 17 - 11PM (Reply to #88)
kiwi10's picture

ahahahahahahahah... good one

ahahahahahahahah... good one
Sep 16 - 3PM
NoNarcingZone's picture

Out of the mouths of Buffoons!

My N/S POS often had this to say: "You made me THIS way." (Um riiiight. How? With my 'disorder' wand? or magical 'Crazy' dust?) "I don't need anybody." "You really think I'm ugly?" (Yep. Inside & out!) "Leave me & my issues alone." "I've got my own back." "Stop psychoanalyzing me!" "There ain't a damn thing wrong w/me!" "I'm all f*cked up!" (Ummm, but u said earlier...) "Just love me as much as I love you." "I don't talk to my family about ANYTHING!" "I feel just as you do..." (No. U r void of emotions!) "I'll keep trying (relationships) 'til I get it right." (Good luck w/that dude!) "I don't care what people think of me." (Popular one) "I don't like being rejected." (So avoid everything, right? "I can't wait until the baby is able to talk." (So she can become supply & he can teach her to tell him how much she adores him! Won't happen. We got the hell out before she could conjugate!) Whatta f*ckin' idiotic coward he is!

"Soldier, don't confuse your rank with MY authority!"

Sep 16 - 6AM
alma25's picture

don't try

"Don't try to put the blame on me." "It wasn't my fault." "I did nothing wrong." "You promised me to change and you didn't. You repeat the same old patterns." "Your words mean nothing. You promise but you don't keep your promises. You do the same all the time." "If my girlfriend was....I would leave her." "I always wanted my girlfriend to..." "If you act like this I'll leave."(after I said I was sorry because he hurt me) "Sorry I answer you after such a long time but I was a little bit tired by all this situation." "Relax." "I know" (after every little compliment) "I know I messed up with your life, didn't I" "Of course, you don't believe me." "I told you we should try from the beginning, step by step but you didn't listen to me and now it's not working." "Could you please send me your proposition how to resolve our problem(can be by email), cause I would like to take a decision. We've got an unhealthy situation." "I'm soooooo pretty, I could be a model" "I'm so handsome" "You're lucky to be with a guy like me." "Did you see how she was looking at me?" "Have some mercy, I'm at work." "Break is a break, please." "I just wanted a break but you didn't accept it so I'm leaving." "Hug your doggy from me." "I know I'm a freak." many times "Maybe you would like to be with someone normal?"many tmes "You're as crazy as I am, aren't you?"maaany times "I've got the impression that our relationship is a little bit immature." "It was our x try and we didn't manage to do that and maybe we won't manage. Instead of hapinness we receive only misunderstandings." And many, many more but I can't even write it down, it makes me sick to my stomach. And what I reminded myself is a strange thing maybe and not so important but he has never called me using my name. Even once.
Sep 15 - 11PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Some more Narcisms...*words that give them orgasms...

"Stay Stuck" "Keep it Moving" "I'm moving forward" "I don't want to get sucked into YOUR negativity" "She made me feel good about myself"...speaking about the FB bitch who lived three hours away who claimed not to have ANY knowledge of me because he lied and said he lived with his siter YET "didn't dare call" in one the texts...-sweet and a "church goer" to boot... Saw one post she wrote on her FB... "People out there, you really need to be listening because some people are in real PAIN"...oye vey.. Oh, and his message to her... "Identify and empathize because you've never walked in my shoes... Geesh, don't know if I have to shit or vomit after revisiting this...
Sep 15 - 11PM
ClusterF's picture

You make me want to be a better man

Retort NOW: You make me want to be an expert marksman.
Sep 16 - 12PM (Reply to #82)
hooklineandsinker's picture

OMG! Mine said the EXACT

OMG! Mine said the EXACT same thing in a text to me! That's kind of chilling. The full text was as follows: "I drink too much, when I started seeing you I halved my intake. I used to train just for marathons, now I work out as often as possible. I get annoyed and fired up and take it out well away from you or anyone now. You make me want to be a better man" You can imagine how over the moon I was to receive this text in our first six weeks - total honeymoon phase.
Sep 17 - 11PM (Reply to #83)
kiwi10's picture

better man

mine said that verbatim, and to the victim before me.
Sep 15 - 11PM
ClusterF's picture

You think too much!!!!!!!

Omfg if I had a dime...I adore this thread!
Sep 15 - 9PM
blueeyes's picture

you always attack me!

You can never let anything go! You are insane! You need help! You think your always right. It's always me! I know I'm the best! Ppl are haters cuz they are jealous of me! I know I'm a good man! Every man leaves you! (Lie) My favorite: "I'll take care of it" That was his answer to everything. He took care of nothing. Losers! SMH! Trust, then verify~
Sep 15 - 7PM
NancyM's picture

Have to add a few

"love me" when he felt my indifference...not I love you. Always found it odd. "I am a nice guy" after he had done something horrific. "Have a look at yourself" "I didn't tell you because you would have carried on" hmmmm lying anyone? "You provoked me" "My body is just a vessel for what I need to do" Some time after hearing this one I read Sam Vaknin quoting it literally word for word. I did literally fall off the chair and the penny began to drop big time. "There is something wrong with you" umm yeah....you. "You have issues" after living with you? No shit??? "people are jealous of me" "I am jealous of the way you think" "She cried, I don't know what that means" talking about an X. "You don't care about me" after a D&D which had to be my fault. Some of it became standard answer for any situation, designed to shut the conversation down, so often did not fit the situation. ie "you always carry on" really? about everything apparently. "I want you all to myself" gimme gimme


Sep 15 - 9PM (Reply to #78)
helldweller's picture


"Just love me." I hear it in my fucking nightmares. "Why did you sleep with someone else?" "Just love me." "Why are you doing this to us?" 'Just love me." "Why did you leave our girls and me behind on Thanksgiving?" "Just love me." "Why won't you have intercourse with me?" "Just love me." "Why won't you kiss me?" "Just love me." "Why didn't you answer the phone when I was miscarrying our baby?" "Just love me."
Sep 15 - 6PM
not-an-idiot's picture

"I wish you or anyone could

"I wish you or anyone could prove me wrong, even once." "No one will say anything to me that is new, I can learn from, or that I didn't already know." "Shut up (stopping me midsentence) I already know what you are going to say and why you are going to say it." "You're a bitch." "You're an idiot." "I wish someone knew and understood me." "You don't love me." "You're a cunt." "I love to be admired and adored." "I love attention." I can't go on. It's making me sad.
Sep 17 - 7AM (Reply to #74)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

This thread is awesome!

"I never understood why anyone would want to have sex with the same person for years. I mean, once you've been with someone, what's the point? Been there, done that" "I can relax on the weekends you have your period. There's no pressure to have sex." "I understand you like no one else. No one else will ever get you the way I do or understand you." "Good luck finding someone who will put up with you." "I'm so misunderstood" as he compared himslef to TS Eliot. Susan - your post cracked me up. Your ex-professor sounds so similar to my EXNH. Quoting Toltsoy, etc. WTF?
Sep 17 - 9AM (Reply to #76)
better off
better off's picture

Been there, done that

Been there, done that... yep he said that about me. Possibly the worst thing anyone has ever said to me in my entire life, which takes some doing. ha. I had forgotten about that, til I read that!
Sep 17 - 7AM (Reply to #75)
Susan32's picture

A challenge

Early on, I told the ex-Psych professor if he could through a conversation WITHOUT quoting Tolstoy, Schopenhauer or Wittgenstein. It seemed REALLY difficult for him. It was as much a challenge as Sisyphus with that rock or Hercules&his Twelve Labors. I might as well have made him slay the Hydra while he was at it. He also quoted horror writer HP Lovecraft in calling Massachusetts "the land of neurotic Puritans." (It's from a letter Lovecraft wrote to Robert E. Howard, the creator of Conan the Barbarian) What's weird is that during the D&D it sounded like the ex-P was quoting a narcissism website. All the advice about emotional distance, focusing on myself, not caring about him.... plain weird. His "you're projecting positive qualities onto me due to low self-esteem"-uh? What? Where did he read that? At the time, I didn't believe him. He could've said the Atlantic Ocean was wet but I wouldn't believe him.
Sep 15 - 5PM
macmad's picture

Well known phrases

What about "I always tell the truth". My daughter and I told him that anyone who says this all the time shows themselves a liar. He could not get his head round that one. He really made a big deal of telling blatant truths when it would have been much kinder to tell a little white lie,he seemed to enjoy the hurt that caused. Many of the others are familiar to me, the good person one, the noone else quarrels with me only you. Another one was I love you but alas we do not get on... meaning I do not back down, standing my corner apparently made me a difficult person. the classic " I bring myself down to thier level, I have always been better, more intelligent"etc. He also used to demonstrate little memory games, giving ordinary things odd names then proving that they became those things in our recollection. At the time we thought it was a neat trick. Little did we know that this was just small hint about the massive mind games he played with us. that brings more phrases to mind He used to say " You are unstable" "You are a danger to society." "I have witnesses. I ve told everyone about you" Phew! strange how it all comes back by reading this post. So much stronger now..... will see the next one before he can ever do his worst. Red Flags. Thank goodness they cannot avoid parading them before our eyes.
Sep 15 - 4PM
truthseeker's picture

You are so wrong

and You stopped trying for us. Constantly. And the ever popular you think too much.
Sep 15 - 1PM
hooklineandsinker's picture

I don't make mistakes I

I don't make mistakes I don't get angry I don't get lonely (well what the FRICK were you doing on a dating site then? I wish I'd asked him that) I don't get jealous I don't need anyone I don't repeat myself
Sep 15 - 4PM (Reply to #67)
Alibi_10's picture


Heh heh - you got the "I don't need anyone" too ? And the lonely thing ... indeed I asked that question as to why he joined a dating site? He said "To meet people and make new female friends". Hmmmm .... that's not what his profile said, it said he wanted a serious relationship, he was happy but could be happier. What a load of tosh. He told me he wanted to revert to being friends, then when I told him (when things were better between us) that I make a good friend, he said he didn't NEED friends!! Aaaaarggghh! So frustrating. It has been such a relief to read the other stock phrases that these freaks come out with ... and it has just reminded me of another couple of all-time classics: I don't think like most people (er too right!) People either love (HIS NAME) or hate (HIS NAME) I feel sorry for you because your life is a mess !!!
Sep 15 - 4PM (Reply to #68)
anonymous's picture

"Think Like I Do"

What's up with the "no one thinks like I do" crap? I got that too. The best was this conversation AFTER the discardment: "I've never wanted to remain in contact with an ex before [you] (forgetting, apparently, that his ex-wife is supposedly now one of his best friends). I don't like to compare people, but my ex-wife understands me because she's a smart chick. But you ... I've never met anyone who not only understands me but thinks like I do too." What a load of f'n BULLSHIT .... and for so long I bought it and actually considered it to be a compliment that HE would think that I think like him. Uh, no I don't. Thank God.
Sep 15 - 4PM (Reply to #69)
Alibi_10's picture


Weird - I got the ex-wife thing, too! Apparently I was "bright like her, musical like her, funny like her " ... and she is one of his best friends too! Incidentally, I just read your story and it is very moving ... the bit about your dad and the endometriosis rang some bells for me too. Have not posted my story yet, but will when this board is private, but there are quite a few similarities there. Write that book!
Sep 15 - 6PM (Reply to #70)
anonymous's picture


Oh, I was alwasy a step above the ex-wife. I was more than just a "smart chick", I thought like him. She's a singer and I was told 'you have a better voice than my ex who calls herself a singer'. I was better in bed. I was blah, blah, blah. All part of the seductive game. He refers to her sometimes as the Ex, sometimes as his supportive best friend, and sometimes as the psycho bitch. I didn't stick around to find out what my lovely superlative nickname would be but I'm sure it's something along the lines of "the married bitch I hooked up with for a while". I'll be interested in reading your story. Yep, the Dad and endometriosis parts sure do hurt. And it hurt even more when they were exploited by someone as lowly as the N. Thanks for reading my story Alibi. I appreciate it. =)
Sep 15 - 10AM
nonnie's picture

"Two things in this world I

"Two things in this world I can't stand, liars and cheaters" "If you would just do what I tell you, everything would be fine. I don't know why I even waste my breath. People just need to do what I say" When discussing someone that no longer talks to him "They're just jealous, that's why I don't hear from them, they're just jealous of everything I have" I saw this on this thread but he used it sooo much "I am a God"